APPLES WELCOME SPRINGTIME

Spring Has Sprung
Look For Robins

Daysgettinglonger
Nashville, TN

In an annual rite of passage, the Apples today toast the calender and welcome Springtime back to all.

The Apple proclamation, made following this past weekends record setting snowfall in the Northeastern U.S. was received by many with the normal confusion and questions that often follow any Apple off the field statements of opinion.

"I don't know what that guy is thinking, but it sounds to me like he is going nuts" said Chris Bernitt of Roanoke, VA. when asked to comment on his Uncle, AGFHOF Don Bernitt's comments. "I just got done shoveling 24 inches of snow off the driveway, while the Apples sit down in snow free Tennessee talking about Springtime. I don't get it" concluded the worn out Virginian.

"Springtime? Springtime? are you kidding me? Springtime?" added Matty Oliver of Newark DE when he first read the Apple declaration. "I just got kicked in the face playing football in over 2 feet of snow and the Apples are saying it's Springtime?" "I gave up trying to figure those guys out a long time ago" added Oliver before heading back out for the second half of Snow Bowl 2009

"I have to agree with my cousins, I'm worried about my Uncle's state of mind" said Potomac MD high school senior Jeremy Bernitt when contacted for comment on the Apple press release." "We have people who shovel our snow for us and it looks like they are working awful hard out there" added Jeremy as he unpacked his travel bags after his weekend trip to the Titans - Dolphins game was cancelled due to the 27 inches of snow that fell in the Washington DC suburbs.

As is often the case with the Apples, further investigation into their thought processes has shed just enough insight for several to agree with today's Springtime celebration. "I like the way they think" said Lauren Litwack of Parkton, MD as she learned the details behind the Apples welcoming of Spring.

"Today, Dec. 21st is the shortest day off sunlight of the year" said Lauren as she took a break from Facebook posting to talk about the Apples. "Most people say it's the first day of Winter, but if you think about it, beginning tomorrow the days start getting longer again, so maybe my Uncle is on to something when he says we should look at it as the beginning of Spring." "I know my Puffins like Springtime better, so I'm joining the Apples and welcoming Spring back" concluded Lauren as she set off to ride her sled down the snow covered hill in her back yard.

And so it goes, to most "normal" people, today is the first day of Winter. However, to the Apples, it's the first day of Spring. "I'll tell you what" said Don Bernitt when asked to comment about today's Apple tid bits, when you're driving home today or tomorrow, or just sitting around getting ready for Christmas, look around and you will say, "hey did you notice that it's staying lighter later each evening now"

Think Spring and........How bout them Apples!

APPLE INJURED

One Car Accident Injures Apple
Cold and Rain Involved

Thathadtohurt
Nashville

The combination of 2 days of rain, and the seasons first below freezing temperatures appear to have played a part in what is being described by the Nashville Police Department as a "one vehicle" accident this past weekend.

Although details remain sketchy, it is being reported the AGFHOF Don Bernitt sustained minor injuries over the weekend when he crashed his late model Honda into a wood fence at the teams headquarters.

Emergency response teams at the accident scene say Bernitt appears to have turned into the team driveway at a high rate of speed and then was unable to stop his vehicle before plowing through a wood fence and into a bamboo grove.

Unconfirmed reports have also added that it was fellow Apple Patty Pender who first arrived on the crash site and attended to Bernitt after first smashing the car windows out with a softball bat.

Neither Bernitt or Pender could be reached for comment following the crash which only added to the speculation that there was more to the accident story then has been reported.

In addition to the odd silence from the Apple camp after the accident, it has also been learned that for the past several weeks there have been several stories leaked from the teams off season compound that suggest that all is not well with the Apples.

One such leaked story claims there are both email and text messages that will show Bernitt has recently been spotted taking batting practice at a local high school gym with a team other then the Apples. If true, this out of season practice will only add to the speculation that Bernitt is planning on leaving the Apples prior to the start of the 2010 season.

With Christmas and the New Years upon us, it may be tough to get to the bottom of this story for several weeks. If past history is a clue, the Apples will be laying low for the rest of the calander year as they join with family and friends to celebrate the holidays.

Come January, it's any one's guess. Will the Apples survive the turmoil that swirls around them, or will they spin out of control and bring an end to the history that is the Apples?

For now, there is no answer to that question or to the questions that surround the weekend crash. For better or for worse, there is but one thing left to say......


How bout them Apples !!

APPLES RING IN CHRISTMAS SEASON

Apple Tree Shines Bright
Weekend Lighting Held

Igotcoal
Nashville

In a tradition dating to 2009, the Apples officially rang in the Christmas season Friday night with the ceremonial lighting of the team Christmas tree. The ceremony, held under cold dark skies at the Apple compound, began with the singing of Christmas carols by the world renowned Apple Choir followed by a sterling rendition of 'The Little Drummer Boy' by AGFHOF Don Bernitt.

Following Bernitt's dramatic performance, that had several dogs in the neighborhood howling along, the countdown began leading up to the throwing of the switch by Apple Patty Pender. 5..4..3..2..1.. chanted the crowd in attendance as they raised their Egg Nog and toasted the lighting.

With the switch thrown, the 7 year old oak tree came to life as 17,338 multi colors lights exploded into brilliance to the joy of all. The reaction throughout the crowd was instantaneous and overwhelming as cheers of ahh.....filled the air at the spectacular sight that was.

"How cool is that" said a spectator in the crowd as the Apple choir rejoined the festivities with a goosebumps and hair raising signing of 'Silent Night'

As the evening drew to a close, all in attendance then paused for a moment to listen to a brief prepared statement given by Bernitt. "As we live our human experience on earth, and the happiness and pain that is this existence, I encourage all to remember why we are here." "We tonight join together to publicly and with joy proclaim the birth of Jesus, sent by GOD to show the way of salvation to all."

Bernitt concluded his comments by adding, "during this special time of the year, and perhaps as a starting point for the rest of our days and years, please do not loose sight of those less fortunate then yourself." "For no truer words were ever spoken then those we have all heard before." "What you do to the least of my brothers, so you do unto me." Amen..Amen..

Merry Christmas, and as always, How bout them Apples !!



*video below*

Christmas time in Appleville

ONE LUCKY APPLE

The Best Gift Ever
Apple Has It Made

youluckydog
Nashville, TN

Anyone who knows him will certainly agree, for those who don't, seeing is believing. For some time now it has been a well known fact that AGFHOF Don Bernitt is one of the luckiest guys alive. Why? it's simple, how many men out there can buy their better half power tools as holiday gifts and not only get away with it, but live to tell about it.

"No doubt I got me one special gal" said Bernitt this weekend as he sipped ice tea on a neighbors porch while watching Patty Pender go to work with the chain saw Bernitt gave her as a Valentine Day gift this past year.

"It hits you where you live" added Bernitt as he chocked back tears as Pender fired up her chain saw and went to work cutting down a holly tree whose time has come. "Is she something special or what?" added Bernitt before heading back into the house to continue his afternoon of watching college football.

Pender, who has become known as the go to girl in the neighborhood for those needing to borrow tools, showed that she knew what she was doing as she scoped out the yard and then fell the tree in the exact spot she intended.

Following the successful removal of the tree, it was again time for Bernitt to show why he can claim the title of "luckiest man alive" as he got up from the couch, strolled to the front door and yelled, "hey sweetie, what's for dinner?."

Now you know why again it is only a matter of time before he hear that now famous cheer.... How bout them Apples !!

**Video Below*

APPLES SEND BIRTHDAY WISHES

Apples Celebrate Two Birthdays
Twin Brothers Seperated By 7 years

Hoyyezmoyyez

The Apples today join millions across the country, and around the world in extending warm birthday wishes to brothers, and future Apples Michael and Matty Oliver.

The Olivers, nephews of AGFHOF Don Bernitt, today turn 20 and 13 respectively. It's simply amazing said Bernitt as he recalled the day two decades ago when Michael burst onto the scene followed seven years to the day by his little brother Matty.

"As their grandfather has said many times, these guys are twin brothers separated by seven years." said Bernitt has he recalled a day a few months after Michael was born." "I can go on record as saying that I fed Michael his first bottle when he was a few months old." "I'll never forget it" added Bernitt, "his mother started crying saying that her baby didn't need her anymore." "Boy was she wrong."

"Michael and Matty are two great kids" continued Bernitt has he reflected on his trip to China this summer with Matty. "They both like to talk" added Bernitt. With Michael at the Air Force Academy, and Matty in Middle School, Bernitt said that they are never at a loss for words or a good story when he has a chance to visit or speak with them.

Following the traditional blowing out of the birthday candles and eating cake and ice cream, Bernitt was then put in an akward position when he was asked which of the birthday boys was his favorite. Bernitt answered by saying, "that's easy, it's J-Man, the kids a player."

Of course, Bernitt like any proud Uncle was joshing with his answer.."I have 16 nieces and nephews" continued Bernitt, "and they are all rock stars in my opinion." And so it goes, the years fly by and the kids become youngsters and adults, which can only lead to one thing. You guessed it.... How bout them Apples!

Happy Birthday Michael and Matty

APPLES SALUTE VETERANS

Apples Pause To Say Thanks
We All Know A Veteran

USAUSA
Nashville, TN

As the days on the calendar fly by and we find ourselves looking Thanksgiving and the Christmas Holiday in the face, the Apples today encourage all Americans to pause for a minute to say "Thanks" to our Military Veterans.

"I get the sense that a lot of folks rarely think about the history that is our country" said AGFHOF Don Bernitt as he sipped a Venti, No Whip, Extra Shot, Extra Hot Mocha outside a Nashville Starbucks coffee shop.

"It's easy to do" added Bernitt, "we are all so wrapped up in our day to day challenges that before we know it, the day is done and we turn the page to tomorrow." "Let's make today a little different, let's all take a minute to acknowledge and remember the Military Veterans of our country who have made it possible for us to enjoy the freedoms that perhaps we often take for granted."

"It's easy to point to the troubles and disagreements our country has, but if you think about it, that's part of what makes us the United States of America and it's because of our Veterans that we have the freedom to disagree" continued Bernitt.

Finishing his morning cup of Joe and preparing to start another day, Bernitt added, "each and everyone one of us knows a Veteran. Perhaps our parents, grandparents, brothers or sisters, in any event, we owe them a debt of thanks, and I would like to take this moment to say thanks to my Veterans." "To my father Dan, my wife Patty, her father Bob, and my brother-in-law Kris, my buds Jim Doran and Tony Byram," "Thanks ya'll, it's because of you that it is only a matter of time before we again hear that now famous cheer.................How bout them Apples!

**PHOTO BELOW**

Happy Veterans Day

APPLES SPOTTED IN COLORADO

Air Force Academy Welcomes Apples
Future Apples Joins ESPN Gameday

Theairisthinouthere.
Colorado Springs, CO.


For what was termed "Reasons of National Security," it was today learned that several members of the Apples this past weekend made an unannounced and unpublicized visit to the United States Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs, CO.

Speaking on the condition of anonymity, a high ranking government source confirmed the Apples surprise visit only after they had left the Academy and were on their way back to Tennessee.

"You never know what kind of trouble the Apples may cause, so sometimes it's better to let them fly under the radar screen and get rid of them before things get too stirred up" said the government source.

With details of the visit now beginning to leak, it can be confirmed that Apples Don Bernitt and Patty Pender were called upon by the USAFA to escort future Apple Matty Oliver to Colorado Springs to join his brother, Air Force Cadet Michael Oliver, at this past weekend's 'ESPN College Gameday' which was broadcast from the Air Force Academy.

It can now be reported that Matty Oliver flew under the cover of darkness from Delaware to Nashville last Friday and was then escorted to 'Gameday' by the Apples. Holding a sign that read 'Mules Can't Fly' Oliver was then front and center for several hours on ESPN and was seen smiling from coast to coast as the 'Gameday' crew held court at the Academy leading up to the Falcons crushing 35-7 win over Army.

Additional reports have added to the picture of the Apples weekend visit, which appear to have included a visit to the Air Force - Army boxing match which was held Friday night. Just released video and still photos of the event show Cadet Michael Oliver has learned well in his first 3 years as a Cadet. Instead of boxing, he has taken on the role of ring announcer for the boxing team.."Ladies and gentleman, the winner by decision, in blue corner.." announced Oliver before being drowned out by the cheers of fellow Cadets following the final bout of the evening.

In addition to the already mentioned flurry of Apple activity, it has also been learned that Bernitt and Pender took the opportunity while in Colorado to get in a little high altitude hiking. Departing just after sunrise Saturday morning, the Apples set out on a 3 1/2 hour hike that saw them climb 2,000 feet to the summit of Eagles Peak at an altitude of 9,638 feet.

"Nothing like a few hours of heart pounding thin air hiking to wake you up" said Bernitt as he sucked air at the summit overlooking the Academy. "That was tough" added Pender as she described the steep and often rocky climb to the top. "But as is always the case" said Pender, "the view from the top was worth the effort."

After descending Eagles Peak and returning to the Academy Grounds, the Apples were treated to the time honored Air Force tradition of a pre game fly over. Along with a 7 man combined Air Force - Army parachute jump, the Apples witnessed an ear rattling low altitude F-15 fly over to include an after burner kick that shook the ground. Following the two F-15's it was the power and grace of the B1 Bomber that sealed the deal which led to the coin toss and the public address announcer's introducing of the Apples.

"I touched, I really am" said Bernitt when introduced along with several 3 and 4 Star Generals in attendance at the Service Academy Weekend. "I have heard a lot of B.S. from my Uncle over the years" said Cadet Michael Oliver, "but in this case I have to agree with him...he is touched"

Bernitt was then overhead countering Oliver's comments by saving, "the good thing about coming out here and seeing Michael's room is that it will be a long time before I ever hear my room is a mess again." Oliver quickly retracted his comments before ushering the two Apples, younger brother Matty, and fellow Cadet Mary Anderson off Academy grounds for a relaxed dinner at a local Colorado Springs restaurant.

With the whirl wind top secret trip behind them, reports now say that the Apples have returned to Tennessee to entertain talks that may lead them to an on site visit to Caravel Academy in Newark, DE. in an effort to help cheer Jeffrey 'J-Dog' Oliver on to victory in the upcoming Delaware State High School Football Championship.

When asked the chances that the Apples will be in Delaware anytime soon, Bernitt didn't miss a beat when he answered, "there are two chances, slim and none." With that said, about all that can be said for sure is that it will only be a matter of time before we next hear that now famous cheer..............

How bout them Apples !!

***PHOTOS BELOW***

Matty Oliver went coast to coast on 'ESPN GAMEDAY'

At nearly 6400 feet high, the air was thin looking down on the Air Force Academy

Patty Pender led the Apples on a snow filled hike

Air Force Cadet Michael Oliver hosted brother Matt and the Apples

APPLES SOLVE HEALTH CARE DILEMMA

Apples Have A Fix
Not That Difficult

Inorout
Nashville,TN

With the President and the United States congress now embroiled in what appears to be a never ending debate regarding health care and reforms, the Apples have stepped to the plate and appear to have solved the problem that America's elected officials either can not, or will not do.

Speaking to a nearly empty room, AGFHOF Don Bernitt addressed the issue of the day in plain and straight terms. "It's just not that difficult to solve" said Bernitt has he read from a tele prompter that had been set up in the Apples conference room.

"If I remember how this all got started" continued Bernitt, "the idea of health care reform is two fold." "First and foremost is to provide health care coverage to all Americans, and second is to lower the astronomically high prices of health care as it currently stands."

When pressed for clarification, Bernitt rambled, "for many people living in the U.S. the local emergency room seems to be their only means of health care, and by that fact alone we are driving the overall cost of health care through the roof." "Hospitals are for the very sick or the injured, they are not in business to treat the common cold or flu." "We simply can't continue to treat our hospitals as free clinics for anyone walking in off the street." added Bernitt

Realizing that his words may have touched a nerve in some, Bernitt quickly softened the conversation by adding, "who among us would not take care of the least of our brothers?" "The plan is simple" said Bernitt has he slowly weaved towards his point, "if your position in life requires a hand out, America will give it to you." "But, as with American corporations that took tax dollars as part of the bailout and are now held to certain new standards, so will it be expected that those receiving free health care be held to new standards as well.

"First among these new standards" continued Bernitt, "you will give the health care provider proof of American citizenship." "If you are an undocumented resident of this country, you will now be identified as such and documented with the sole purpose of taxing you like all citizens are taxed."

"The free ride is over" said Bernitt as he stated that "nobody living in this country should live in the shadows or in fear." "If you're in this country then by GOD you need to part of the solution and not part of the problem." "The time has come for not just health care reform, but for immigration reform as well" yelled Bernitt as he again veered off course while delivering his unsolicited opinion.

Returning to the main theme of his comments, Bernitt continued, "I've listened to our President and his ideas, and for the most part, I disagree with him." "We don't need the government to run health care in this country." "Obama has said that part of his plan is to clean up the corruption and waste in Medicaid." "How about this" said Bernitt, "do that first!, save the 300 billion dollars in Medicaid fraud you talk about and then put that money right back into the system to pay for the uninsured and under insured who currently have no coverage."

Bernitt concluded, "when you have a problem, you can either avoid it, or attack it." "If the time has come, and I believe it has, for health care reform, then it makes sense to first go after the easy fixes." "Don't try to reinvent the wheel, just fix the spokes." "The issue is not health care reform, the issue is Medicaid and Medicare reform."

"In closing" said Bernitt, "if we the people who make up our government can clamp down on, and clean up Wall Street, then by golly we can do the same thing with our current government health care institutions of Medicaid and Medicare." "Clean your own house, before you tell me what to do to mine" shouted Bernitt as those watching quickly gathered the children and covered their ears before scurrying out of the room.

Completing his remarks, Bernitt left the room as the few in attendance shared a common question, "what the heck is he talking about?" Said one of the remaining guest, " I know exactly what he is saying..... How bout them Apples"

APPLES AWARDED A HEISMAN

Heisman Surprise
Team Humbled

Notjustafootballaward
Nashville, TN

To use an old softball term, "this came out of left field." Those words were used this past weekend when it was learned that the Nashville based Apples have been awarded a Heisman Trophy.

Normally given to college footballs outstanding player of the year, the Heisman Committee surprised the sports world this weekend by giving an award to the Apples.

Speaking in Nashville, committee member Arthur Jones said that the announcement of the Apples award should not come as a total surprise. "We saw what our brethren in Norway did last month when they gave the Nobel Peace Prize to President Obama." "We figured if they could give the Nobel to someone out of left field, then we could do the same with the Heisman."

In naming the Apples as this years winner, the Heisman committee broke with tradition in two ways. First, they gave the award to a non football recipient, and second, they gave the award to a team and not an individual.

Accepting the award for the Apples, AGFHOF Don Bernitt said that the team was humbled by the recognition and promised to represent the award in true Apple form. Along with the trophy itself, the Apples were presented a check for $100,000 to be placed in the teams general scholarship fund. "I speak for every member of the Apples, past and present, when I say that this award ranks near the top of the list when it comes to the frauds we've perpetrated over the years to market the Apples and grow our bank accounts at the expense of the unassuming masses" said Bernitt before heading to a nearby bank to cash the Heisman check.

With the award, the Apples now find themselves heading into the winter months with some extra Christmas cash on hand as well as a new trophy for the teams newly remodeled headquarters. Where things go from here is any one's guess, perhaps an Oscar or an Emmy is in the Apples future. Regardless, one thing is for sure, it is only a matter of time before we will next hear that now famous cheer.............How Bout them Apples.

** Photos Below**

The Heisman Trophy was awarded to the Apples

Bernitt accepted the Heisman for the entire Apple team

Apples Patty Pender and Barbara Woehnker popped the champagne to celebrate the Heisman Award

APPLES SAY....DISSOLVE U.S.A.

Stunning Proclamation
Real or Hoax?

Canitbedone
Nashville

In what is believed to be the first of its kind proclamation, the normally a-political Apples shocked the sports world this week as they dipped their toes into the world of American politics. Speaking at Independence Hall in Philadelphia, Apple spokesmen Nathan Hale VI and Thomas Jefferson VI caught many off guard as they announced the Apples proclamation that the time has come for the United States of America to dissolve as a country.

Speaking first, Jefferson addressed the inattentive crowd by reading from the Declaration of Independence that had been written by his famous ancestor of the same name. "And, I quote" said Jefferson, "When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and the Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation."

Continuing, Jefferson referred again to our founding fathers when he read from the original Declaration of Independence and the claim that whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive, "it is the right of the people to alter or abolish it, and to institute a new government."

"Look around you" urged Nathan Hale VI. "Our government is shattered." "We have reached a point of perpetual disagreement amongst the two main political parties." "If one group says yes, the other says no." "If one party says up, the other says down."

Added Hale, "our population has grown to a point that we can no longer find a common good." "In a country this vast,and with great people from across the globe now making this wonderful land their home, we must all acknowledge that there is now, and will forever more be, more then one common good." "It is because of our unimaginable success as a people and a nation, that the time may be upon us that we should peacefully and with purpose dissolve the United States of America." proclaimed Hale as the midday crowd enjoyed their Philadelphia Cheese Steak sandwiches in the cool autumn air.

Continuing on the theme of the day, Jefferson VI again chimed in when he quoted the 1858 speech by Abraham Lincoln in which Lincoln said, "A nation divided against itself can not stand." Jefferson then challenged those in attendance by asking, "who amongst us can say that our country is not divided against itself?" Whether because of a total lack of interest in his comments, or because his words may have drowned out by the 747 passing overhead, it must be reported that there was no response from the crowd milling about the square.

Finally, after a bit more rambling by Hale, one passing citizen paused long enough to ask Hale how he would go about doing something that had never been done in the recorded history of mankind, that being the peaceful dissolution of a country and its government. Pausing for a moment, Hale answered by saying, "Please don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I have the answers, I'm the one asking the question, that's all."

Stepping back in front of the microphone provided by the Philadelphia chapter of the Ladies of Liberty Organization, Jefferson VI spoke again when he suggested that perhaps the United States look at a split of the country into "block governments" based on the land map at the time of the 1803 Louisiana Purchase. "It makes sense that a smaller population of individuals are more likely to compromise and work towards a common good if they felt that their voices would be heard and effective, versus today's climate where one persons voice is basically a cry in the wilderness as it relates to actual governing."

"When peppered about the basic questions about a common defense and the structure of the military that would accompany his "block governments" Jefferson's suggestion of a Central Government outraged the handful of bystanders who shouted "Communist! Communist!" With the crowd now becoming hostile, Jefferson VI quickly turned back to Hale VI and said "it was your ancestor who said,I regret I have but one life to give to my country, so why don't you take it from here."

Attempting to calm the crowd, Hale quickly pointed out that Jefferson was only thinking out loud and as had been mentioned before, the two Apple spokesmen were today only asking questions and that they did not pretend to have the answers to what they see as fracture in the current government of the United States.

"This I can say for sure" said Hale, "if we don't pay attention and get involved in our government then we deserve the mess we are in and the bigger mess that is to come." With these words the crowd broke into a chant of Go Phillies Go! as it was learned that the Phillies had won the National League Championship and would now be heading back to the World Series in an attempt to match the Apples by winning back to back World Championships.

And so it goes, with the Phillies about to start World Series play and the Apples enjoying the off season, a proclamation has been made. The only question now is simple, is it real or is it a hoax?

*Photo Below

Jefferson suggested the U.S. split into Blocks based on a map dating back to the 1803 Louisiana Purchase

APPLES CONQUER MT. LeCONTE

Up We Go
One Step At A Time


Arewethereyet
Great Smokey Mountains


In a rare mid week adventure, the Apples this week added another chapter to their unique off season training regiment by traveling to the Great Smokey Mountains to climb Mt LeConte.

The climb, hosted by AGFHOF Don Bernitt and fellow Apple Patty Pender, saw the Apples complete the 13.4 mile trek up and down LeConte is just over 8 hours. In a first of its kind for the Apples, the hikers left base camp on the outskirts of Gatlinburg, TN under the curtain of darkness as they headed into the Great Smokey Mountains.

From its base where the Apples started, LeConte is the tallest mountain in the Eastern United States as well as the third highest peak in the Smokies. The climb, which had the Apples trek up 6.7 miles to "Cliff Tops" at an altitude of 6,555 feet was a challenge to say the least.

Along the way, and after the sunrise, the Apples were treated to spectacular views as they 3 times crossed a deep woods stream before finally approaching 'Rainbow Falls' "What more can you say?" asked Pender as she paused to take in the beauty of the falls and the colors of autumn now bursting in the Smokies.

4 hours into the hike, the Apples reached the summit of LeConte and as can be imagined, were again treated to an amazing view as they looked out at hundreds of miles of majestic mountains high in the Smokies.

Of course, what goes up must come down. After a brief stay at the summit to enjoy the view and a sandwich, Bernitt and Pender then turned their attention to the long trek back down the mountain. Fighting ice slicked patches along the trail, and with black bear droppings at all turns, the Apples methodically worked their way back to base camp and the comforts of civilization.

In what she first termed an "aggressive hiking challenge", Pender was asked at the bottom if perhaps the Apples had bitten off more then they could chew. "No, I wouldn't say that" she said before adding, "but I wont be having any desert today."

When Bernitt was asked why the Apples would endure the rigors of the climb, he said, "it was either this or the Detroit 1/2 Marathon, and we decided this would be easier." Bernitt's comments referred to the fact that Apple Team Trainer Sue Krawczyk ran the Detroit race this past weekend and then challenged the Apples to pony up a workout of proportional value.

And so it goes, with the 2009 season behind them, and with 2010 just a few short months away, the Apples this week found another way to train and stay in shape as they lay plans to make a run at the 2010 World Coed Softball Championship.

From the fields of Granny White Field, to the summit of Mt LeConte, it is again just a matter of time before we hear that now famous cheer.........

How bout them Apples !!


**Photos Below

Hiking Flashlight In Hand, Pender Led The Apples Into The Dark

The Pre Dawn Departure Was A First For The Apples

2 Hours Into The Climb The Apples Were Treated To Rainbow Falls

Above The Snow Line...One Step At A Time

After a 4 Hour, 6.7 Mile Climb, The View Was Worth The Trek.

Now You Have To Walk Back Down

APPLES DENIED AGAIN

Obama Wins Peace Prize
Apples Snubbed

Longlivetheking
Norway

In a stunning turn of events, it has been learned that for the 14th consecutive year, the Apples have again been denied the Nobel Peace Prize.

With this morning's announcement that the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize had been awarded to Barack Obama, many across the globe have been left understandably surprised.

Across the United States, and the world, there seems to now be a collective posture of head scratching as the reality of the Nobel announcement sinks in. "I'm not quite sure who votes on this award but I'd like to find out" said a mother of three in Afghanistan as she scurried to get her children in doors as United States and NATO troops engaged in heavy combat with Taliban solders on the outskirts of her hometown.

Meanwhile, across the border in Pakistan, citizens were seen fleeing the open air food market as reports of an overhead U.S. Drone surfaced. "I'd like to speak with you about Nobel Prize Award, but I think I'm about to die" said one man as he wrapped his AK-47 in a blanket and scampered from sight.

In Iran, news of the Peace Prize being awarded to Obama was met with some skepticism as students were dismissed from class early to take part in a previously scheduled "Death To America" day picnic. Along with traditional US Flag burnings, this years picnic is reported to also include a "who can pack the most plastic explosives into a Volkswagen" contest.

Not to be outdone, Palestinians in the Middle East showed their feelings of the significance of the Nobel Peace Prize by wrapping their faces in mask and firing rockets and bullets towards Israel. "We want Jimmy, We want Jimmy" chanted the crowd as they mistakenly identified Jimmy Carter as the Nobel Prize Winner.

Back in the United States, hundreds of thousands of unemployed Americans seemed to take the news of Obama's award in stride. "Good for him" said one man as he stood in line at a food bank to get a supply of government food. "I just hope that when Obama gets done solving the worlds problems that he will take some time to help America" added the man as he prepared to head off for his free hip replacement surgery.

When contacted in Nashville for his thoughts on the Peace Prize going to Obama, AGFHOF Don Bernitt was clear and direct in his answer. "I look at it this way" said Bernitt, "The Titans are 0 -4 and have Payton Manning and the Colts coming to town this weekend, I think we can all agree that a win this weekend is much more important then the Nobel Peace Prize." "With that said" concluded Bernitt, "you can never go wrong by shaking hands with a stranger and saying...Peace be with you."


How bout them Apples!

APPLE BRINGS HOME HARDWARE

McSwain In The Big Leagues
Does Apples Proud

Theonethatdidntgetaway
Nashville, TN

The written statement released by the Apples today said it all. "It is with pride and excitement that we today learned of the amazing performance turned in over the weekend by former future Apple Houston McSwain."

The Apples press release came on the heels of the ESPN broadcast that broke the story of McSwains 2nd place finish in the Tennessee BassMasters 2009 State Tournament. McSwain, fishing with 'Team Lexington Renegades' was all smiles as he recorded his best finish to date in the highly coveted BassMaster series.

"Sure it would have been nice to grab the top spot but considering I haven't thrown a jig or cranked a spinner since July, I'll take it." McSwain, who normally fishes year round, had been off the lake since late July when he injured his casting arm in what has been called a "wedding night accident"

Fighting back tears as he accepted the trophy for his teams runner up weekend outing, McSwain first thanked his sponsors Yamaha and the Apples before adding, "most of all I want to thank my bride, she has given me lots of reasons to stay home the past few months and I really appreciate her letting me out this weekend."

McSwain, who married Apple infielder Tiffany Smith ( McSwain ) then added that he hoped his good fortune would lead to renewed time on the lake this fall. "I'm pretty much off the hook until Thanksgiving with the in laws so I should get a few more tournaments under my belt before the holiday's." "Please don't quote me on that" added McSwain as he packed up his rods and reels and headed home.

With his performance over the weekend, McSwain once again showed all that even though first known for their excellence on the softball field, it is only a matter of time before someone, somewhere will cause us all to hear that now famous cheer..........


How bout them Apples!!

Way to go Houston...

**Photo Below**

Houston McSwain was all smiles as he was interviewed on ESPN following the Bass Master Tournament in Nashville

NEVER FORGET

Sept. 11, 2001
Never Forget

We have all heard the saying many times, "a picture is worth a thousand words"

As we go about our day today and tomorrow, perhaps watching the Titans and the Steelers play, or looking forward to the upcoming weekend, take a minute to remind yourself.

Sept. 11, 2001
Never Forget

APPLES REUNITE

Old Timers Game A Hit
We Still Got It

Nashville


In a tradition started by the New York Yankees back in the late 1950's, it has been learned that several Apples this past weekend came together for their own version of 'Old Timers Day'

In a gathering of some of the original Overton Apples, it was a who's - who from the past as the Apples came together to celebrate the past and to wish all success in the future.

The gathering, held at the summer home of former Team President John Beasley, was highlighted by the appearance of 3 former Apples who have taken their skills south and joined the Birmingham based Adams group of the Southern U.S. Coed Softball League.

Making their first appearance together in Nashville since joining Adams were original Apples, Mary Anderson, Terry Mattingly and bartender extraordinaire, Dennis Miller.

"I can't tell you how good it is to see you all again" said Beasley as he looked around the crowd that included among others, former players Tom Nance, AGFHOF Don Bernitt, LPGA Golf Professional Vickie Chanley, and team pilot David Smith.

Beasley, who retired from the Apples several years ago, has since been tending to new endeavours in the Bahamas and elsewhere. "It's hard to believe it's been this many years since I have seen or talked to any of you" continued Beasley as he thanked those in attendance for their past efforts which in part led to the building of the juggernaut that is today known worldwide as The Apples.

Although a limited amount of information about the event will be made public at this time, it can be reported that a hoot and a holler was heard from the back deck when an all expenses paid week in the Bahamas was raffled off and awarded to the normally quiet and reserved Don Bernitt.

"Screw Disney World, I'm going to the Bahamas" said Bernitt as his name was drawn from the hat and he was awarded the grand prize of the evening. "There's just one catch" said Beasley when announcing the trip, "You have to tell me when you are going so that I can be sure to keep my family as far away from the island as possible."

After the awards ceremony, Beasley did for a few minutes turn his attention to discussing future plans for the team which now appear to include a renewed commitment to make a run at the 2010 World Coed Softball Championship.

Where things go from here is any one's guess.. But one thing that can now be said for sure, it will not be long before we again hear that now famous cheer...........

How bout them Apples!

APPLES RELEASE CHINA PHOTOS

Good Times Comrade
Nashville,TN

Following a recent off season trip to The Peoples Republic Of China, the Apples learned yesterday that their official team photographer Matty Oliver, has been released by the Chinese Red Army following 2 weeks in detention. Oliver was held at an unknown location on the outskirts of Beijing while his photographs of the Apples goodwill tour were reviewed and in some instances censored.

When asked to comment before boarding a flight back to America, a hungry and dehydrated Oliver was heard to mutter, " ma ma chi ma, ma...fisherman, fisherman."

It has been announced that a 2hr video of the Apples visit to China is now in final production and will be available soon by mail order only. Titled, "Just because we're Apples, that doesn't mean we're RED." The video is reported to press the boundaries of Sino - American relations and it is rumoured to already have been banned in 6 states and 3 foreign countries.

In preparation for the release of the video, several still photography shots have turned up recently on several websites which has today prompted the Apples to release the below photographs:

The Apples 2009 Goodwill Tour

Following Harsh Words With The Red Army, Bernitt Was Forced To Flee Tiananmen Square Ahead Of Arriving Tanks

Next Time You Buy Something Made In China, Think About This

A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words

Apple Patty Pender says.."Let's go up there"

After a 454 step climb, a winded Bernitt asked, "did we come the right way?"

The Birdsnest at Beijing Olympic Village

Bernitt Joined In On Early Morning Tai Chi...

The Apples Ate Duck Brains.. Slap Me Silly

Knuckle Licking Good

When It Came to Food, It Was.. Don't Ask, Don't Tell

The Total Solar Eclipse Was A Wow! Moment

Which Way To The Beach ?

APPLES BACK ON AMERICAN SOIL

China Tour A Success
Peace Intact

Commiebastards
Nashville, TN

THIS IS A LONG READ..

"Incredible, simply incredible" said AGFHOF Don Bernitt when asked to describe the Apples just completed trip to China. "We've have all heard that you really don't know how great we have it here in America until you go away and see things from a different angle. I now know first hand how true those words are" said Bernitt as he battled the effects of his 31 hour travel day that started at the Ritz Carlton in Shanghai, China and ended when he pulled back into the Apples Nashville compound early Sunday morning.

"We had the gift of being able to see and hear so many incredible things that it is just about impossible to explain it all" said Bernitt as he drank his first truly cold drink in almost two weeks. "I take so much for granted" continued Bernitt as he explained that the water in China can not be consumed by westerners due to the high mineral content which of course bars one from using ice and therefore leads to lots of cool or warm soda, bottled water and beer. "I guess our idea and the Chi Coms idea of cold is different, because we never had a ice cold drink our entire trip" added Bernitt as he slammed his 3rd cold beer in his first hour back on American soil.

In an even greater then normal daze following the grueling trip home, Bernitt briefly explained a few highlights of the Apples goodwill tour which began with a 13 hour non stop flight from New York City to Beijing. "That was pretty cool, we actually headed due North out of JFK and flew over the top of the world, across the North Pole and south to Beijing." "I'm pretty sure I got a picture of Santa's workshop but I'll have to wait to get a look at the pictures to be sure" added Bernitt.

Upon arriving in China, the Apples were immediately confronted by the Chinese Red Army to ensure all paperwork and visa's were intact and current. Following admission into the country, Bernitt and fellow Apple Patty Pender, along with Bernitt's father Dan, and nephew Matty Oliver, headed to the heart of Beijing and within hours found themselves standing in the middle of the now infamous Tiananmen Square. "It was surreal" said Pender when asked what crossed her mind as she stood on the spot that is the history of the 1989 Tiananmmen Square Massacre. Pender also pointed out that the city of Beijing, with a population of near 17 million people, is now a very polluted city.."Just picture a grey cloudy day and then imagine the cloud hanging down to ground level" continued Pender as she described the irritating air quality of the city. Along with all else in Beijing, Pender confirmed that there are hundreds of thousands, if not millions of people riding bikes. "Anywhere, anytime, there are throngs of people on bikes" said Pender.

After several days in Beijing, which included visits to the Olympic venues of the 'Birds Nest' and 'Water Cube' the Apples toured the 800 year old Forbidden City before venturing out for a 2 1/2 hike along the Great Wall of China. "The Wall is amazing" said Bernitt as he described the 3,000 mile structure that is regarded as one of the Seven Wonders of the World.. "It's very difficult to walk" said Pender as she explained that it is almost never flat and instead flows up and down as it follows the mountains of China. "To make it tougher" added Pender, "the steps up and down are not the steps we are accustomed to, instead they are half size steps which throw your stride off." Pender then pointed out that one hill tackled by the Apples included a stretch of 454 steps up before reaching a flat surface and a few minutes of relief.

From Beijing, the Apples caught a 2 hour domestic Air China flight south to the city of Xing for a visit to what is commonly know as 'The Terracotta Soldiers' The sight, discovered just 20 years ago, has come to be learned to have been the burial sight for an ancient Chinese Emperor.. In his burial tomb stands thousands of life size Terracotta Soldiers meant to protect him as he headed to the after world.. "Another amazing day and sight" Bernitt said as he recalled the visit to the long buried army.

Next up for the Apple delegation was a treat to behold. As special guest of the Penn State Astronomy Department, and in conjunction of Peking University, the Apples traveled to the mountain tops of Anji, China where they had the awesome experience of witnessing a Total Solar Eclipse. "Again, words can not describe it" said Bernitt as he attempted to relay what it is to see this rare celestial event. "The eclipse was an 4 hour spectacular that I will never forget" continued Bernitt. " For the first two hours we of course wore specific protective eye glasses that allowed us to follow the shadow of the moon as it blocked the sun. When the eclipse went 'Total' we then witnessed with our naked eyes the awesome sight of seeing only a white outer ring of the sun in what is known as the Corona. It was stunning." Bernitt then told of the HD Video that he took of this moment and how he and others are heard repeating the same word time after time.. WOW! WOW! WOW! is all that is heard and can only be described as an involuntary reaction to a sight never before seen by the Apples. "Seeing that was worth the price of admission by itself, much less having the chances to see the rest of China as well" concluded Bernitt.

After leaving Anji, the Apples headed off for a few days in the bustling city of Shanghai. A city with over 20 million people, Shanghai was night and day different then the capital of Beijing. Said Pender, "it is a very western like city, very modern and very stylish in the dress of the people as opposed to the dull and drab garb that was Beijing. To describe Shanghai as huge is an under statement. To make a point, Nashville, TN may have 6 or 8 buildings that are over 30 stories tall, in Shanghai, there are 4,000, yes 4,000 buildings over 30 stories tall.. The skyline is very modern as future pictures on this blog will show.

Along their tour of China, the Apples took the advice of future Apple Sue Krawczyk as they made a point to eat anything put in front of them and not to shy away from a dish because of what it was. To this end, the Apples were treated to dishes of Octopus, Jellyfish, Pig Knuckles, Chicken Feet and Duck Brains just to name a few. "When in China" quipped Matty Oliver as he sucked the brains out of fresh catch of shrimp.

On the media and photograph front, Bernitt let it be known that although he has returned to America to begin training for the 2009 fall season, Apple Patty Pender as well as Dan Bernitt and Matty Oliver have remained in China and will not be back for another week. "I left all photography equipment behind and will look forward to sharing pictures and video in a few weeks" said Bernitt.

In the meantime, Bernitt made a point to say that his "big picture" of China is as follows:

In America, perhaps 80% of us are middle class and 10% are very rich and 10% are very poor.. "Do not be fooled" said Bernitt, "In China 80% of the 1.5 Billion people are very poor and live in poverty." "They have no passion, no purpose and no future." "It is not a pretty thing to see and I don't want to hear that 'they don't know any better'. "It's a damn shame, and each and everyone of us should be oh so thankful to have what we have." "I have no doubt", said Bernitt, "we are the most fortunate people alive, and yes, America is the greatest country on earth."

How bout them Apples...

***Limited First View Pictures Below***
***More To Follow In Coming Days***

The Chi Com Red Army kept an eye on the Apples throughout the trip

The Apples told Mao to "Bite Me"

Now that's a Great Wall

Dan Bernitt captured this photo of the Total Solar Eclipse

RED APPLES

Apples Go International


This past Springs temporary suspension of team operations, which took the Apples off of the playing field for the first time in a decade, appears now to have been a course of action that could in the end, benefit the Nashville based Coed Softball giant.

Forced to suspend play due to the lack of talent in Nashville, it has been announced that the Apples have elected to extend their reach and have begun a national, as well as international tryout schedule in hopes of fielding a team for the upcoming fall schedule of the Granny White Coed Softball League.

A recent weekend tryout in San Francisco identified several potential players who were signed to the practice squad while waiting to hear the leagues final ruling on allowing trans gender athletes to participate in Coed Softball. "It raises a few questions on the boy - girl - boy - girl batting order" said AGFHOF Don Bernitt when discussing the recent tryout.

With the recent scouting trip to California behind them, the Apples now turn their attention to the international talent pool as they have embarked on a visit to The Peoples Republic of China.

"I hear they have some folks that can swing a mean sickle over there" said Bernitt as he and fellow Apple Patty Pender prepared for the flight from New York City to Beijing. Bernitt added that he hoped his visit behind the bamboo curtain would lead to an increased openness between to the two countries in the arena of International Coed Softball. "That's true Change and Hope we can Believe in" continued Bernitt as he brushed up on his language skills of calling balls and strikes in Chinese.

While in China, the Apples plan on becoming the first Coed Softball team to hold free and open tryouts in a communist country, and at the same hope to become the first Americans to hit softballs over the Great Wall of China. "I'm looking forward at going toe to toe in a pitching matchup against the Red Chinese Army" said Bernitt as he packed his 'Made in China' ball and glove in the overhead bin of team plane Apple 1.

And so it goes, the Apples take to the world and begin to spread their vision of America and Coed Softball. GOD help us all..

How bout them Apples!

GOLDEN APPLES

Off Season Tour Underway
1st Stop California

Toocool
San Francisco

Following the 2009 season that wasn't, the Apples began their off season tour this past weekend with a trip west to the Salinas Valley and the artichoke and strawberry fields of Watsonville, Ca.

In addition to the day spent in the "Salad Bowl" of America, the Apples also took a step back in time as they retraced the steps of their 1995 visit to California and the San Francisco Bay area.

"What a beautiful city" said AGFHOF Don Bernitt has he and fellow Apple Patty Pender gazed across the bay from the Golden Gate Bridge. "If there was just some way to get the freaks out of here this would be a pretty cool place" added Bernitt as he was pummeled by the high octane winds atop the bridge.

With June now behind us and the summer ready to kick into high gear, it's any ones guess as to where the Apples may show up next. With rumors flourishing of a pending trip to the deep south, one thing is for sure, if you listen for a wind coming from the far east you may will soon hear that now famous cheer..........

How bout them Apples!!

**PHOTOS BELOW**

A thirteen year time lapse photo shows the Golden Gate Bridge still hanging in there and looking good.


*Next photo shoot in 2021*

APPLES ASK.. WHERE ARE YOU NOW?

Apples Angered
You Bastards

LTBPOE
Nashville,USA

Where are you now? For the past eight years many people seemed to take pleasure in a free -for- all attack of our country, it's former administration and its policies.

Now, as the world lays witness to events taking place in Iran, the Apples have a question; Where are you now?

Do you remember the jokes and scoffs when George Bush called Iraq, Iran and North Korea an "axis of evil"? Where are you now?

Are you watching what is happening in Iran? Are you watching as your brothers and sisters are being murdered in the streets of Iran because they dare to taste the very freedom that many in this country take for granted? Where are you now?

Did you see the young women, Neda Agha Soltan, as she dared to peacefully protest for freedom on the streets of Iran? Did you see her die? Where are you now?

As has been proclaimed by the Apples in the past; Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness is not just for white men in America.. This absolute truth is the bedrock for all of GODS children being able to say "Free at Last, Free at Last, thank GOD Almighty, we're Free at Last." Where are you now?

You criticized your country and its leaders when they dared to believe that the people of Iraq should be free. Now, the blood of freedom is screaming from the dead in Iran.

America, where are you now?

America, where are you now?

Another Apple On The Move

Bailey Announces Change
Takes Game To Hometown Team

Locationlocationlocation
Lebanon,TN

Following a ten year run as team swing coach, Apple Jeff Bailey has announced that he will be leaving his current position at the end of the month to assume a similar role with his hometown PFG Pears.

"It's never an easy decision to make a move like this, but I feel it's the right time to do so." said Bailey as he announced his decision to sign a free agent contract that will have him join the Lebanon, TN based Pears.

"I had a nice 10 year run here" said Bailey, "I'll take a lot a fun memories from this job and of course" added Bailey, "this is where I met my wonderful wife, Lisa Bailey Bean. There is not too much bad you can say about a gig like that" concluded Bailey as he loaded his golf clubs in the cab of his truck and headed out for a quick 9 holes as a tune from the band 'Dave's Not Here' blared from the truck stereo

When contacted on vacation for comment on Bailey's decision, Apple Executive Apparel Buyer Don Upton said, " I'm sorry... who is leaving? Jeff? I'm not sure if I know who Jeff is" joked Upton before taking a minute to thank Bailey for his past efforts and to wish him well in his new role.

With the move, Bailey now finds himself in the unique position of working just 10 minutes from home. "It's going to be great" said Jeff, "I look forward to sleeping later and having cocktails earlier"

And so it goes, the Apple tree extends its reach as another Apple leaves and begins to grow again in a new orchard. Just another example of not if, but when we will hear that now famous cheer........

How bout them Apples

APPLE TO SAY.... BUY

Big D In The House
Miller Joins Adams

Buylowsellhigh
Nashville,TN

As speculated, it has been confirmed that one time Apple Coach and Buyer, Dennis Miller, has accepted a similar position with the Birmingham, Alabama based Adams Produce conglomerate.

Approached at a pool party and rib cook off in Suburban Nashville to celebrate the upcoming marriage of Apple infielder Tiffany Smith and Professional Bass Fisherman Houston McSwain, Miller said that he had been looking to "get back in the game" since the Apple restructuring that forced him from his position a few years ago.

"This wont be my first rodeo, I'm looking forward to getting back onto the field and kicking some dirt soon" added Miller as he tossed back shots of Patrone to celebrate his pending move.

Miller now joins several other one time Apples who have taken their games from humble beginnings in Nashville and have over time joined up with the Adams ownership group to become a major force in the Southeast United States Coed Softball League.

When then asked about expectations in regards to selling his Nashville home under current market conditions as he prepares to join Adams in Birmingham, Miller surprised well wishers when he replied, "I'm not going anywhere, the position that I have accepted is here in Nashville." Miller then poured another round of Tequila and toasted, "Here's to my new job, and to Christi getting married."

With the announcement of Millers move, we today again see why it is always just a matter of time before we hear that famous cheer.............

How bout them Apples!

APPLE ON THE MOVE

Apple Swirl
Back To Basics

Wheretheskyisalwaysblue
Nashville, TN.

Following a week in which Tennessee Titan quarterback Vince Young publicly stated his desire to be traded, it has today been learned that a high level Apple is on the move and will be soon be wearing a new uniform.

Contacted in Houston Texas, Titans owner Bud Adams denied any knowledge or involvement in the breaking news story before pointing out that this would not be the first time that his last name had been erroneously linked to a rumour involving a former Apple.

Mr. Adams then pointed out that when the Nashville based Apples were first sold by founder John Beasley, it was a group in Houston that paid a then record price for the franchise. "Perhaps that has something to do with the confusion today" added Adams as he was peppered for information on the yet to be identified Apple on the move. When then asked what, if anything, he knows about the team that has on occasion been mixed up with his, Adams said although he has never meet anyone from the group, he understands "they know a thing or two about bringing home the cabbage."

As the news of the pending move broke, efforts to reach the Apples were unsuccessful. A recorded message at the teams headquarters said the Apples were participating in charity bike ride from Birmingham, Alabama to the Panhandle of Florida. Callers where then directed to visit the teams website later in the week for an Apple update.

It's now time to hurry up and wait as the Apples appear ready to hit again. As has been thought for a long time, it's not a question of if the Apples will shine again, but instead the question is when. With someone big apparently now on the move, it's time for the guessing games to begin as to when we will next hear that now famous cheer.....

How bout them Apples !!

HISTORIC APPLE HQ GOES UP IN FLAMES

Apple History Lost
Was This An Accident?

Nashville, TN
Burnbabyburn

After first shutting down their coed softball operations this Spring, the Apples saw another chapter of their storied history come to an end with this weeks burning of the teams former Headquarters and Training Facility.

The facility, located in the historic Germantown section of Nashville and which was recently put on the American Coed Softball Register of Historic Sites, was all but destroyed in the 3 alarm fire that rang out this week.

"If those walls could talk you would hear a a lot of screaming and swearing" said AGFHOF Don Bernitt when contacted following the blaze. "We took that building and those in it on a heck of a ride over the years" added former Apple Manager Dennis Miller as he struggled to hold back tears when told of the inferno that had swept through the former front offices of the Apples.

Although inconclusive, initial test show the fire perhaps starting in or near the upstairs office of former team owner and CEO John Beasley. One source close to the fire investigation who would only speak on the condition of anonymity, reported that he had heard multiple stories of hot air coming from Beasley's office over the years which may have led to the fire. However added the source, the amount of Bullshit that also came out of some team meetings should have dampened the ground and reduced the chances of this type of thing happening. Attempts to reach Beasley were unsuccessful both in Nashville and at his private resort in the Bahamas.

As has been said before, " You can take away our team and you can take our building, but you will never be able to take our cheer.."

How bout them Apples.......

Photos Below

Fire gutted the Apples former Training Facility

Walkway to main Apple practice area

Entrance to Batting Cages

If these walls could talk

APPLES CHANGE WITH TIMES

Apples Announcement Expected
New Team Possible

As Spring gives way to Summer, so it appears that change is underway with the Apples. After a multi year run in Nashville, it has been learned that the Apples will soon announce an ambitious plan to take their brand nationally and then eventually globally.

"It's a little early for details" said AG Don Bernitt, "but yea, we have an idea and we are looking at the national and global market."

Initial reports have the Apples deciding on the rapidly expanding Internet networking tool of 'Twitter' as a springboard for their expansion. "That is true" said Bernitt, "you can now follow Apple Tweets at twitter.com/Bernitt

In addition to the Apples global expansion, it has also been learned that we will soon be held hostage to another season of postings involving sports. Coming soon, "Knights Baseball", a 35 and older baseball team fighting for their first league title as part of the Cumberland Valley Adult Baseball League.

Tweet

BO OBAMA AN APPLE ?

1st Family Chooses Apple Mascot
Portuguese Water Dog Picked

Isaidstay
Nashville,TN

Following a lengthy background check which included contact with Apple executives, it has been announced that President Obama and the first family have settled on the Apple mascot, the Portuguese Water Dog to become the First Dog. 'Bo' made his first White House appearance today and has quickly become the center of attention on Pennsylvania Ave and around the country.

For several years, Apple team members and fans have been familiar with the Portie as they have come to love team mascot Bella. A Portuguese Water Dog since birth, Bella has become a fixture over the past few years at Apple Headquarters and has accompanied the Apples to several off the field events.

"She's so sweet" said Apple Christi Copous when asked to comment on Bella. Copous, along with the Woehnker-Todd family of Brentwood, TN have been regular host of Bella when her owner's Don Bernitt and Patty Pender travel on team business.

When last seen on the beaches of Hilton Hilton Head Island, Bella seemed oblivious to the commotion surrounding the Portuguese Water Dog and it's soon to be status of First Dog of the United States.

"I know Bella, and Bo is no Bella" said Bernitt when asked to comment on the high profile addition to the first family. "There is no doubt that the Obamas will love their Portie, they are amazing dogs and I'm sure Bo will be fun to have around. I'm sorry that I'm going to have to get rid of Bella now that her cover has been blown" concluded Bernitt.

When asked if he had any insight for the first family and their new Portie, Bernitt said "they like pizza, macaroni and cheese and a whole lot of attention."

From Nashville to the White House, today belongs to the dogs as they bark in harmony...

How bout them Apples

Photos Below...

Bella

Bella reacts after learning that her distant cousin Bo is now in the White House

APPLES MAKE IT TO SPACE STATION

Apples Go Galactic
Out Of This World

Liftoff
Nashville, TN

With their on again off again season approaching, the Apples are finding new ways to keep busy these days.

In an out of this world example, the Apples this week visited the International Space Station. When asked to comment, AGFHOF Don Bernitt pointed out that it was not a member of the Apple team that made it to the ISS but rather an email.

"Yea, it's pretty cool if you think about it." said Bernitt, "I sent an email to someone on the Space Station and they replied to me." "What's more impressive, the fact that the Space Station is up there, or the fact that I was able to send an email and get a reply?"

For those interested, Bernitt's communication with Charles Simony can be seen at

www.charlesinspace.com

When asked about further attempts to reach the Space Station, Bernitt said that he was going to start clipping grocery coupons with the hope of saving 30 million dollars; the current asking price for a trip to orbit. Concluded Bernitt, "take a walk outside one night soon and gaze into the starry skies, and when you do so don't be surprised if you hear the faint and distant sound of......"


How bout them Apples........

APPLES TO PLAY !

Apples Back In Business
Mayor Dean Involoved

Hitthatball
Nashville, TN.

After last months announcement that they would suspend softball operations for the 2009 season, it is today being reported that the Apples are back.

Reports out of Nashville say that several prominent local dignitaries possibly including Mayor Dean have been working behind the scenes to keep the Apples intact and on the diamond.

Although efforts to contact the Mayor were unsuccessful, it is believed that Dean made a last minute appeal to the Apples and discussions have led to the Apples willingness to field a team in the Granny White Coed Softball League.

In addition to local efforts to save the Apples, reports have the Apples also receiving bailout money from the Federal Government which may have also played a part in the change of direction.

With the President in Europe this week, it is unclear at this time if the Obama administration will insist that Apple Tony Byram be replaced as manager of the Apples as part of the bailout deal. Efforts to reach Byram were unsuccessful this morning.

Once again, leave it to the Apples to surprise all. With a rich history of excitement and success in their rear view mirrors, could it be that we will again lay witness to another year of Apples Coed Softball glory?

When contacted for comment on today's breaking news, AGFHOF Don Bernitt was quick to say " Today is April 1st, I'm not thinking about softball yet. Try me back in a few weeks."


How bout them Apples.......

APPLES TO SUSPEND SOFTBALL OPERATIONS

2009 Season In Doubt
The End Of An Era

Nashville
Sayitaintso

In a sign of the times, it has been learned that the Apples have scheduled a press conference for this weekend to announce that they will suspend operations of the Coed Softball division of their global entity.

A source close to the Apples has confirmed that barring an 11th hour solution, the Apples will forgo tomorrow's league mandated payment of dues thereby ending a 10 year run as one of the most prominent Coed softball teams in Nashville history.

When reached for comment early this morning, a somber AGFHOF Don Bernitt would not comment on reports that the Apples finances had been compromised by disgraced Wall Street executive Bernie Madoff.

Although a connection to Madoff would help answer questions as to why the Apples were so inactive in this past off seasons free agent signing period, additional leaks from the Apple front office are helping paint a picture that shows that the true problem with the Apples is their inability to find enough players to field a team.

"Yea, there is some truth to that" said Bernitt when asked if the Apples were struggling to find enough experienced girls to play this season. "We've set the bar very high these past few years and it's not easy to find great talent year after year." Added Bernitt, "All good things come to an end, and with this will come a new beginning of Hope and Change that we can Believe In." Whatever the heck that means.

As the sun now appears to be setting on the Apples Coed Softball dynasty, it is time we turn our attention to the East and wait for the rising sun that will soon bring light to a new day in which we will again hear that now famous cheer............

How bout them Apples !!

APPLES IN FIRE SCARE

Electrical Mishap
Team Headquarters Is OK

Hoyuzmoyuz
Nashville,TN

In the end it was laughable, in the midst it was nerve wracking. So it was last night at the off season home of AGFHOF Don Bernitt and Apple Patty Pender.

The evening, which started off as any other normal off season night, quickly turned to one of moments of high anxiety and concern when it appeared the Apples Headquarters was on the verge of catching fire.

As is routine, Bernitt was kicking back reviewing game films of last years disappointing season when Pender asked aloud, "what was that?" to which Bernitt replied, "that was a bullshit call by the ump, I was safe!"

A moment later Pender was alerted by something unusual and said again, "what was that". This time Bernitt sat straight up and said, "that was another crappy call, there is no way that ball went over the fence in fair territory, had that umpire called it foul we would have only lost 19 - 0 instead of 21 - 0"

Another few moments passed before Pender and Bernitt both were startled when a loud popping sound accompanied by flashes of blue / green light were observed as the house lost power and went dark.

After gathering a few well placed flashlights, it became apparent that it was only the Apple house that had lost power while the homes on either side remained lite.

And then the fun began, after a few minutes of darkness half of the house had power restored while half remained dark. There was no pattern to the outage as certain pieces of electronic equipment functioned while others and overhead lights remained dead.

"This isn't good" said Bernitt aloud, "we've all heard of electrical fires burning down houses and something is definitely wrong." As they surveyed the situation, Bernitt then said "I smell smoke,we have a problem." It was at the moment that Pender pointed out, "the smoke you smell is coming from the wood burning stove,I THINK!"

Pender and Bernitt then calmly put Evacuation Plan A into action. They scurried about their 4 room mansion as they grabbed the memory sticks from computers and electronic picture frames that hold thousands of pictures accumulated over the years of Apple travels. Along with the sticks, they quickly packed a bag with several changes of clothes before grabbing the Wii Machine and heading outside into the pouring rain.

As tense moments passed, a call was placed to Nashville Electric Company who dispatched an emergency response vehicle to the Apple Palace. Upon arriving, the emergency crew quickly determined that the main power line from the pole to the house had "frayed" and although not completely rendered useless it was the cause for the electrical issues in the house.

"We'll have this fixed in 30 minutes" proclaimed the utility team as they raised the cherry picker into the dark skies of Appleville. Following the rain drenched efforts of the crew, there was heard the shout of "Let there be light" as electricity and calm were restored throughout the house.

"We witnessed a good lesson tonight" said Bernitt as he rebooted his laptop, "everyone needs to make sure that you have fresh batteries in all your smoke detectors and have a plan in the event of fire at your house." Added Bernitt, "talk with your kids and let them know what they need to do in the event of something like this, have a meeting place pre-determined outside and have a 'fire drill' at your house."

In the end, all is well, but don't for a moment think that there weren't some very nerve wracking moments last night for the Apples. As is always the way, Bernitt put it best when he said, "we have our families and friends, the other stuff is just stuff"

It is with relieve that we again can say...... How bout them Apples!