APPLES AWARDED A HEISMAN

Heisman Surprise
Team Humbled

Notjustafootballaward
Nashville, TN

To use an old softball term, "this came out of left field." Those words were used this past weekend when it was learned that the Nashville based Apples have been awarded a Heisman Trophy.

Normally given to college footballs outstanding player of the year, the Heisman Committee surprised the sports world this weekend by giving an award to the Apples.

Speaking in Nashville, committee member Arthur Jones said that the announcement of the Apples award should not come as a total surprise. "We saw what our brethren in Norway did last month when they gave the Nobel Peace Prize to President Obama." "We figured if they could give the Nobel to someone out of left field, then we could do the same with the Heisman."

In naming the Apples as this years winner, the Heisman committee broke with tradition in two ways. First, they gave the award to a non football recipient, and second, they gave the award to a team and not an individual.

Accepting the award for the Apples, AGFHOF Don Bernitt said that the team was humbled by the recognition and promised to represent the award in true Apple form. Along with the trophy itself, the Apples were presented a check for $100,000 to be placed in the teams general scholarship fund. "I speak for every member of the Apples, past and present, when I say that this award ranks near the top of the list when it comes to the frauds we've perpetrated over the years to market the Apples and grow our bank accounts at the expense of the unassuming masses" said Bernitt before heading to a nearby bank to cash the Heisman check.

With the award, the Apples now find themselves heading into the winter months with some extra Christmas cash on hand as well as a new trophy for the teams newly remodeled headquarters. Where things go from here is any one's guess, perhaps an Oscar or an Emmy is in the Apples future. Regardless, one thing is for sure, it is only a matter of time before we will next hear that now famous cheer.............How Bout them Apples.

** Photos Below**