Spring Has Sprung
Look For Robins
Daysgettinglonger
Nashville, TN
In an annual rite of passage, the Apples today toast the calender and welcome Springtime back to all.
The Apple proclamation, made following this past weekends record setting snowfall in the Northeastern U.S. was received by many with the normal confusion and questions that often follow any Apple off the field statements of opinion.
"I don't know what that guy is thinking, but it sounds to me like he is going nuts" said Chris Bernitt of Roanoke, VA. when asked to comment on his Uncle, AGFHOF Don Bernitt's comments. "I just got done shoveling 24 inches of snow off the driveway, while the Apples sit down in snow free Tennessee talking about Springtime. I don't get it" concluded the worn out Virginian.
"Springtime? Springtime? are you kidding me? Springtime?" added Matty Oliver of Newark DE when he first read the Apple declaration. "I just got kicked in the face playing football in over 2 feet of snow and the Apples are saying it's Springtime?" "I gave up trying to figure those guys out a long time ago" added Oliver before heading back out for the second half of Snow Bowl 2009
"I have to agree with my cousins, I'm worried about my Uncle's state of mind" said Potomac MD high school senior Jeremy Bernitt when contacted for comment on the Apple press release." "We have people who shovel our snow for us and it looks like they are working awful hard out there" added Jeremy as he unpacked his travel bags after his weekend trip to the Titans - Dolphins game was cancelled due to the 27 inches of snow that fell in the Washington DC suburbs.
As is often the case with the Apples, further investigation into their thought processes has shed just enough insight for several to agree with today's Springtime celebration. "I like the way they think" said Lauren Litwack of Parkton, MD as she learned the details behind the Apples welcoming of Spring.
"Today, Dec. 21st is the shortest day off sunlight of the year" said Lauren as she took a break from Facebook posting to talk about the Apples. "Most people say it's the first day of Winter, but if you think about it, beginning tomorrow the days start getting longer again, so maybe my Uncle is on to something when he says we should look at it as the beginning of Spring." "I know my Puffins like Springtime better, so I'm joining the Apples and welcoming Spring back" concluded Lauren as she set off to ride her sled down the snow covered hill in her back yard.
And so it goes, to most "normal" people, today is the first day of Winter. However, to the Apples, it's the first day of Spring. "I'll tell you what" said Don Bernitt when asked to comment about today's Apple tid bits, when you're driving home today or tomorrow, or just sitting around getting ready for Christmas, look around and you will say, "hey did you notice that it's staying lighter later each evening now"
Think Spring and........How bout them Apples!
Monday, December 21, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
APPLE INJURED
One Car Accident Injures Apple
Cold and Rain Involved
Thathadtohurt
Nashville
The combination of 2 days of rain, and the seasons first below freezing temperatures appear to have played a part in what is being described by the Nashville Police Department as a "one vehicle" accident this past weekend.
Although details remain sketchy, it is being reported the AGFHOF Don Bernitt sustained minor injuries over the weekend when he crashed his late model Honda into a wood fence at the teams headquarters.
Emergency response teams at the accident scene say Bernitt appears to have turned into the team driveway at a high rate of speed and then was unable to stop his vehicle before plowing through a wood fence and into a bamboo grove.
Unconfirmed reports have also added that it was fellow Apple Patty Pender who first arrived on the crash site and attended to Bernitt after first smashing the car windows out with a softball bat.
Neither Bernitt or Pender could be reached for comment following the crash which only added to the speculation that there was more to the accident story then has been reported.
In addition to the odd silence from the Apple camp after the accident, it has also been learned that for the past several weeks there have been several stories leaked from the teams off season compound that suggest that all is not well with the Apples.
One such leaked story claims there are both email and text messages that will show Bernitt has recently been spotted taking batting practice at a local high school gym with a team other then the Apples. If true, this out of season practice will only add to the speculation that Bernitt is planning on leaving the Apples prior to the start of the 2010 season.
With Christmas and the New Years upon us, it may be tough to get to the bottom of this story for several weeks. If past history is a clue, the Apples will be laying low for the rest of the calander year as they join with family and friends to celebrate the holidays.
Come January, it's any one's guess. Will the Apples survive the turmoil that swirls around them, or will they spin out of control and bring an end to the history that is the Apples?
For now, there is no answer to that question or to the questions that surround the weekend crash. For better or for worse, there is but one thing left to say......
How bout them Apples !!
Cold and Rain Involved
Thathadtohurt
Nashville
The combination of 2 days of rain, and the seasons first below freezing temperatures appear to have played a part in what is being described by the Nashville Police Department as a "one vehicle" accident this past weekend.
Although details remain sketchy, it is being reported the AGFHOF Don Bernitt sustained minor injuries over the weekend when he crashed his late model Honda into a wood fence at the teams headquarters.
Emergency response teams at the accident scene say Bernitt appears to have turned into the team driveway at a high rate of speed and then was unable to stop his vehicle before plowing through a wood fence and into a bamboo grove.
Unconfirmed reports have also added that it was fellow Apple Patty Pender who first arrived on the crash site and attended to Bernitt after first smashing the car windows out with a softball bat.
Neither Bernitt or Pender could be reached for comment following the crash which only added to the speculation that there was more to the accident story then has been reported.
In addition to the odd silence from the Apple camp after the accident, it has also been learned that for the past several weeks there have been several stories leaked from the teams off season compound that suggest that all is not well with the Apples.
One such leaked story claims there are both email and text messages that will show Bernitt has recently been spotted taking batting practice at a local high school gym with a team other then the Apples. If true, this out of season practice will only add to the speculation that Bernitt is planning on leaving the Apples prior to the start of the 2010 season.
With Christmas and the New Years upon us, it may be tough to get to the bottom of this story for several weeks. If past history is a clue, the Apples will be laying low for the rest of the calander year as they join with family and friends to celebrate the holidays.
Come January, it's any one's guess. Will the Apples survive the turmoil that swirls around them, or will they spin out of control and bring an end to the history that is the Apples?
For now, there is no answer to that question or to the questions that surround the weekend crash. For better or for worse, there is but one thing left to say......
How bout them Apples !!
Friday, December 4, 2009
APPLES RING IN CHRISTMAS SEASON
Apple Tree Shines Bright
Weekend Lighting Held
Igotcoal
Nashville
In a tradition dating to 2009, the Apples officially rang in the Christmas season Friday night with the ceremonial lighting of the team Christmas tree. The ceremony, held under cold dark skies at the Apple compound, began with the singing of Christmas carols by the world renowned Apple Choir followed by a sterling rendition of 'The Little Drummer Boy' by AGFHOF Don Bernitt.
Following Bernitt's dramatic performance, that had several dogs in the neighborhood howling along, the countdown began leading up to the throwing of the switch by Apple Patty Pender. 5..4..3..2..1.. chanted the crowd in attendance as they raised their Egg Nog and toasted the lighting.
With the switch thrown, the 7 year old oak tree came to life as 17,338 multi colors lights exploded into brilliance to the joy of all. The reaction throughout the crowd was instantaneous and overwhelming as cheers of ahh.....filled the air at the spectacular sight that was.
"How cool is that" said a spectator in the crowd as the Apple choir rejoined the festivities with a goosebumps and hair raising signing of 'Silent Night'
As the evening drew to a close, all in attendance then paused for a moment to listen to a brief prepared statement given by Bernitt. "As we live our human experience on earth, and the happiness and pain that is this existence, I encourage all to remember why we are here." "We tonight join together to publicly and with joy proclaim the birth of Jesus, sent by GOD to show the way of salvation to all."
Bernitt concluded his comments by adding, "during this special time of the year, and perhaps as a starting point for the rest of our days and years, please do not loose sight of those less fortunate then yourself." "For no truer words were ever spoken then those we have all heard before." "What you do to the least of my brothers, so you do unto me." Amen..Amen..
Merry Christmas, and as always, How bout them Apples !!
*video below*
Christmas time in Appleville
Weekend Lighting Held
Igotcoal
Nashville
In a tradition dating to 2009, the Apples officially rang in the Christmas season Friday night with the ceremonial lighting of the team Christmas tree. The ceremony, held under cold dark skies at the Apple compound, began with the singing of Christmas carols by the world renowned Apple Choir followed by a sterling rendition of 'The Little Drummer Boy' by AGFHOF Don Bernitt.
Following Bernitt's dramatic performance, that had several dogs in the neighborhood howling along, the countdown began leading up to the throwing of the switch by Apple Patty Pender. 5..4..3..2..1.. chanted the crowd in attendance as they raised their Egg Nog and toasted the lighting.
With the switch thrown, the 7 year old oak tree came to life as 17,338 multi colors lights exploded into brilliance to the joy of all. The reaction throughout the crowd was instantaneous and overwhelming as cheers of ahh.....filled the air at the spectacular sight that was.
"How cool is that" said a spectator in the crowd as the Apple choir rejoined the festivities with a goosebumps and hair raising signing of 'Silent Night'
As the evening drew to a close, all in attendance then paused for a moment to listen to a brief prepared statement given by Bernitt. "As we live our human experience on earth, and the happiness and pain that is this existence, I encourage all to remember why we are here." "We tonight join together to publicly and with joy proclaim the birth of Jesus, sent by GOD to show the way of salvation to all."
Bernitt concluded his comments by adding, "during this special time of the year, and perhaps as a starting point for the rest of our days and years, please do not loose sight of those less fortunate then yourself." "For no truer words were ever spoken then those we have all heard before." "What you do to the least of my brothers, so you do unto me." Amen..Amen..
Merry Christmas, and as always, How bout them Apples !!
*video below*
Christmas time in Appleville
Sunday, November 22, 2009
ONE LUCKY APPLE
The Best Gift Ever
Apple Has It Made
youluckydog
Nashville, TN
Anyone who knows him will certainly agree, for those who don't, seeing is believing. For some time now it has been a well known fact that AGFHOF Don Bernitt is one of the luckiest guys alive. Why? it's simple, how many men out there can buy their better half power tools as holiday gifts and not only get away with it, but live to tell about it.
"No doubt I got me one special gal" said Bernitt this weekend as he sipped ice tea on a neighbors porch while watching Patty Pender go to work with the chain saw Bernitt gave her as a Valentine Day gift this past year.
"It hits you where you live" added Bernitt as he chocked back tears as Pender fired up her chain saw and went to work cutting down a holly tree whose time has come. "Is she something special or what?" added Bernitt before heading back into the house to continue his afternoon of watching college football.
Pender, who has become known as the go to girl in the neighborhood for those needing to borrow tools, showed that she knew what she was doing as she scoped out the yard and then fell the tree in the exact spot she intended.
Following the successful removal of the tree, it was again time for Bernitt to show why he can claim the title of "luckiest man alive" as he got up from the couch, strolled to the front door and yelled, "hey sweetie, what's for dinner?."
Now you know why again it is only a matter of time before he hear that now famous cheer.... How bout them Apples !!
**Video Below*
Apple Has It Made
youluckydog
Nashville, TN
Anyone who knows him will certainly agree, for those who don't, seeing is believing. For some time now it has been a well known fact that AGFHOF Don Bernitt is one of the luckiest guys alive. Why? it's simple, how many men out there can buy their better half power tools as holiday gifts and not only get away with it, but live to tell about it.
"No doubt I got me one special gal" said Bernitt this weekend as he sipped ice tea on a neighbors porch while watching Patty Pender go to work with the chain saw Bernitt gave her as a Valentine Day gift this past year.
"It hits you where you live" added Bernitt as he chocked back tears as Pender fired up her chain saw and went to work cutting down a holly tree whose time has come. "Is she something special or what?" added Bernitt before heading back into the house to continue his afternoon of watching college football.
Pender, who has become known as the go to girl in the neighborhood for those needing to borrow tools, showed that she knew what she was doing as she scoped out the yard and then fell the tree in the exact spot she intended.
Following the successful removal of the tree, it was again time for Bernitt to show why he can claim the title of "luckiest man alive" as he got up from the couch, strolled to the front door and yelled, "hey sweetie, what's for dinner?."
Now you know why again it is only a matter of time before he hear that now famous cheer.... How bout them Apples !!
**Video Below*
Thursday, November 19, 2009
APPLES SEND BIRTHDAY WISHES
Apples Celebrate Two Birthdays
Twin Brothers Seperated By 7 years
Hoyyezmoyyez
The Apples today join millions across the country, and around the world in extending warm birthday wishes to brothers, and future Apples Michael and Matty Oliver.
The Olivers, nephews of AGFHOF Don Bernitt, today turn 20 and 13 respectively. It's simply amazing said Bernitt as he recalled the day two decades ago when Michael burst onto the scene followed seven years to the day by his little brother Matty.
"As their grandfather has said many times, these guys are twin brothers separated by seven years." said Bernitt has he recalled a day a few months after Michael was born." "I can go on record as saying that I fed Michael his first bottle when he was a few months old." "I'll never forget it" added Bernitt, "his mother started crying saying that her baby didn't need her anymore." "Boy was she wrong."
"Michael and Matty are two great kids" continued Bernitt has he reflected on his trip to China this summer with Matty. "They both like to talk" added Bernitt. With Michael at the Air Force Academy, and Matty in Middle School, Bernitt said that they are never at a loss for words or a good story when he has a chance to visit or speak with them.
Following the traditional blowing out of the birthday candles and eating cake and ice cream, Bernitt was then put in an akward position when he was asked which of the birthday boys was his favorite. Bernitt answered by saying, "that's easy, it's J-Man, the kids a player."
Of course, Bernitt like any proud Uncle was joshing with his answer.."I have 16 nieces and nephews" continued Bernitt, "and they are all rock stars in my opinion." And so it goes, the years fly by and the kids become youngsters and adults, which can only lead to one thing. You guessed it.... How bout them Apples!
Twin Brothers Seperated By 7 years
Hoyyezmoyyez
The Apples today join millions across the country, and around the world in extending warm birthday wishes to brothers, and future Apples Michael and Matty Oliver.
The Olivers, nephews of AGFHOF Don Bernitt, today turn 20 and 13 respectively. It's simply amazing said Bernitt as he recalled the day two decades ago when Michael burst onto the scene followed seven years to the day by his little brother Matty.
"As their grandfather has said many times, these guys are twin brothers separated by seven years." said Bernitt has he recalled a day a few months after Michael was born." "I can go on record as saying that I fed Michael his first bottle when he was a few months old." "I'll never forget it" added Bernitt, "his mother started crying saying that her baby didn't need her anymore." "Boy was she wrong."
"Michael and Matty are two great kids" continued Bernitt has he reflected on his trip to China this summer with Matty. "They both like to talk" added Bernitt. With Michael at the Air Force Academy, and Matty in Middle School, Bernitt said that they are never at a loss for words or a good story when he has a chance to visit or speak with them.
Following the traditional blowing out of the birthday candles and eating cake and ice cream, Bernitt was then put in an akward position when he was asked which of the birthday boys was his favorite. Bernitt answered by saying, "that's easy, it's J-Man, the kids a player."
Of course, Bernitt like any proud Uncle was joshing with his answer.."I have 16 nieces and nephews" continued Bernitt, "and they are all rock stars in my opinion." And so it goes, the years fly by and the kids become youngsters and adults, which can only lead to one thing. You guessed it.... How bout them Apples!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
APPLES SALUTE VETERANS
Apples Pause To Say Thanks
We All Know A Veteran
USAUSA
Nashville, TN
As the days on the calendar fly by and we find ourselves looking Thanksgiving and the Christmas Holiday in the face, the Apples today encourage all Americans to pause for a minute to say "Thanks" to our Military Veterans.
"I get the sense that a lot of folks rarely think about the history that is our country" said AGFHOF Don Bernitt as he sipped a Venti, No Whip, Extra Shot, Extra Hot Mocha outside a Nashville Starbucks coffee shop.
"It's easy to do" added Bernitt, "we are all so wrapped up in our day to day challenges that before we know it, the day is done and we turn the page to tomorrow." "Let's make today a little different, let's all take a minute to acknowledge and remember the Military Veterans of our country who have made it possible for us to enjoy the freedoms that perhaps we often take for granted."
"It's easy to point to the troubles and disagreements our country has, but if you think about it, that's part of what makes us the United States of America and it's because of our Veterans that we have the freedom to disagree" continued Bernitt.
Finishing his morning cup of Joe and preparing to start another day, Bernitt added, "each and everyone one of us knows a Veteran. Perhaps our parents, grandparents, brothers or sisters, in any event, we owe them a debt of thanks, and I would like to take this moment to say thanks to my Veterans." "To my father Dan, my wife Patty, her father Bob, and my brother-in-law Kris, my buds Jim Doran and Tony Byram," "Thanks ya'll, it's because of you that it is only a matter of time before we again hear that now famous cheer.................How bout them Apples!
**PHOTO BELOW**
We All Know A Veteran
USAUSA
Nashville, TN
As the days on the calendar fly by and we find ourselves looking Thanksgiving and the Christmas Holiday in the face, the Apples today encourage all Americans to pause for a minute to say "Thanks" to our Military Veterans.
"I get the sense that a lot of folks rarely think about the history that is our country" said AGFHOF Don Bernitt as he sipped a Venti, No Whip, Extra Shot, Extra Hot Mocha outside a Nashville Starbucks coffee shop.
"It's easy to do" added Bernitt, "we are all so wrapped up in our day to day challenges that before we know it, the day is done and we turn the page to tomorrow." "Let's make today a little different, let's all take a minute to acknowledge and remember the Military Veterans of our country who have made it possible for us to enjoy the freedoms that perhaps we often take for granted."
"It's easy to point to the troubles and disagreements our country has, but if you think about it, that's part of what makes us the United States of America and it's because of our Veterans that we have the freedom to disagree" continued Bernitt.
Finishing his morning cup of Joe and preparing to start another day, Bernitt added, "each and everyone one of us knows a Veteran. Perhaps our parents, grandparents, brothers or sisters, in any event, we owe them a debt of thanks, and I would like to take this moment to say thanks to my Veterans." "To my father Dan, my wife Patty, her father Bob, and my brother-in-law Kris, my buds Jim Doran and Tony Byram," "Thanks ya'll, it's because of you that it is only a matter of time before we again hear that now famous cheer.................How bout them Apples!
**PHOTO BELOW**
Monday, November 9, 2009
APPLES SPOTTED IN COLORADO
Air Force Academy Welcomes Apples
Future Apples Joins ESPN Gameday
Theairisthinouthere.
Colorado Springs, CO.
For what was termed "Reasons of National Security," it was today learned that several members of the Apples this past weekend made an unannounced and unpublicized visit to the United States Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs, CO.
Speaking on the condition of anonymity, a high ranking government source confirmed the Apples surprise visit only after they had left the Academy and were on their way back to Tennessee.
"You never know what kind of trouble the Apples may cause, so sometimes it's better to let them fly under the radar screen and get rid of them before things get too stirred up" said the government source.
With details of the visit now beginning to leak, it can be confirmed that Apples Don Bernitt and Patty Pender were called upon by the USAFA to escort future Apple Matty Oliver to Colorado Springs to join his brother, Air Force Cadet Michael Oliver, at this past weekend's 'ESPN College Gameday' which was broadcast from the Air Force Academy.
It can now be reported that Matty Oliver flew under the cover of darkness from Delaware to Nashville last Friday and was then escorted to 'Gameday' by the Apples. Holding a sign that read 'Mules Can't Fly' Oliver was then front and center for several hours on ESPN and was seen smiling from coast to coast as the 'Gameday' crew held court at the Academy leading up to the Falcons crushing 35-7 win over Army.
Additional reports have added to the picture of the Apples weekend visit, which appear to have included a visit to the Air Force - Army boxing match which was held Friday night. Just released video and still photos of the event show Cadet Michael Oliver has learned well in his first 3 years as a Cadet. Instead of boxing, he has taken on the role of ring announcer for the boxing team.."Ladies and gentleman, the winner by decision, in blue corner.." announced Oliver before being drowned out by the cheers of fellow Cadets following the final bout of the evening.
In addition to the already mentioned flurry of Apple activity, it has also been learned that Bernitt and Pender took the opportunity while in Colorado to get in a little high altitude hiking. Departing just after sunrise Saturday morning, the Apples set out on a 3 1/2 hour hike that saw them climb 2,000 feet to the summit of Eagles Peak at an altitude of 9,638 feet.
"Nothing like a few hours of heart pounding thin air hiking to wake you up" said Bernitt as he sucked air at the summit overlooking the Academy. "That was tough" added Pender as she described the steep and often rocky climb to the top. "But as is always the case" said Pender, "the view from the top was worth the effort."
After descending Eagles Peak and returning to the Academy Grounds, the Apples were treated to the time honored Air Force tradition of a pre game fly over. Along with a 7 man combined Air Force - Army parachute jump, the Apples witnessed an ear rattling low altitude F-15 fly over to include an after burner kick that shook the ground. Following the two F-15's it was the power and grace of the B1 Bomber that sealed the deal which led to the coin toss and the public address announcer's introducing of the Apples.
"I touched, I really am" said Bernitt when introduced along with several 3 and 4 Star Generals in attendance at the Service Academy Weekend. "I have heard a lot of B.S. from my Uncle over the years" said Cadet Michael Oliver, "but in this case I have to agree with him...he is touched"
Bernitt was then overhead countering Oliver's comments by saving, "the good thing about coming out here and seeing Michael's room is that it will be a long time before I ever hear my room is a mess again." Oliver quickly retracted his comments before ushering the two Apples, younger brother Matty, and fellow Cadet Mary Anderson off Academy grounds for a relaxed dinner at a local Colorado Springs restaurant.
With the whirl wind top secret trip behind them, reports now say that the Apples have returned to Tennessee to entertain talks that may lead them to an on site visit to Caravel Academy in Newark, DE. in an effort to help cheer Jeffrey 'J-Dog' Oliver on to victory in the upcoming Delaware State High School Football Championship.
When asked the chances that the Apples will be in Delaware anytime soon, Bernitt didn't miss a beat when he answered, "there are two chances, slim and none." With that said, about all that can be said for sure is that it will only be a matter of time before we next hear that now famous cheer..............
How bout them Apples !!
***PHOTOS BELOW***
Future Apples Joins ESPN Gameday
Theairisthinouthere.
Colorado Springs, CO.
For what was termed "Reasons of National Security," it was today learned that several members of the Apples this past weekend made an unannounced and unpublicized visit to the United States Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs, CO.
Speaking on the condition of anonymity, a high ranking government source confirmed the Apples surprise visit only after they had left the Academy and were on their way back to Tennessee.
"You never know what kind of trouble the Apples may cause, so sometimes it's better to let them fly under the radar screen and get rid of them before things get too stirred up" said the government source.
With details of the visit now beginning to leak, it can be confirmed that Apples Don Bernitt and Patty Pender were called upon by the USAFA to escort future Apple Matty Oliver to Colorado Springs to join his brother, Air Force Cadet Michael Oliver, at this past weekend's 'ESPN College Gameday' which was broadcast from the Air Force Academy.
It can now be reported that Matty Oliver flew under the cover of darkness from Delaware to Nashville last Friday and was then escorted to 'Gameday' by the Apples. Holding a sign that read 'Mules Can't Fly' Oliver was then front and center for several hours on ESPN and was seen smiling from coast to coast as the 'Gameday' crew held court at the Academy leading up to the Falcons crushing 35-7 win over Army.
Additional reports have added to the picture of the Apples weekend visit, which appear to have included a visit to the Air Force - Army boxing match which was held Friday night. Just released video and still photos of the event show Cadet Michael Oliver has learned well in his first 3 years as a Cadet. Instead of boxing, he has taken on the role of ring announcer for the boxing team.."Ladies and gentleman, the winner by decision, in blue corner.." announced Oliver before being drowned out by the cheers of fellow Cadets following the final bout of the evening.
In addition to the already mentioned flurry of Apple activity, it has also been learned that Bernitt and Pender took the opportunity while in Colorado to get in a little high altitude hiking. Departing just after sunrise Saturday morning, the Apples set out on a 3 1/2 hour hike that saw them climb 2,000 feet to the summit of Eagles Peak at an altitude of 9,638 feet.
"Nothing like a few hours of heart pounding thin air hiking to wake you up" said Bernitt as he sucked air at the summit overlooking the Academy. "That was tough" added Pender as she described the steep and often rocky climb to the top. "But as is always the case" said Pender, "the view from the top was worth the effort."
After descending Eagles Peak and returning to the Academy Grounds, the Apples were treated to the time honored Air Force tradition of a pre game fly over. Along with a 7 man combined Air Force - Army parachute jump, the Apples witnessed an ear rattling low altitude F-15 fly over to include an after burner kick that shook the ground. Following the two F-15's it was the power and grace of the B1 Bomber that sealed the deal which led to the coin toss and the public address announcer's introducing of the Apples.
"I touched, I really am" said Bernitt when introduced along with several 3 and 4 Star Generals in attendance at the Service Academy Weekend. "I have heard a lot of B.S. from my Uncle over the years" said Cadet Michael Oliver, "but in this case I have to agree with him...he is touched"
Bernitt was then overhead countering Oliver's comments by saving, "the good thing about coming out here and seeing Michael's room is that it will be a long time before I ever hear my room is a mess again." Oliver quickly retracted his comments before ushering the two Apples, younger brother Matty, and fellow Cadet Mary Anderson off Academy grounds for a relaxed dinner at a local Colorado Springs restaurant.
With the whirl wind top secret trip behind them, reports now say that the Apples have returned to Tennessee to entertain talks that may lead them to an on site visit to Caravel Academy in Newark, DE. in an effort to help cheer Jeffrey 'J-Dog' Oliver on to victory in the upcoming Delaware State High School Football Championship.
When asked the chances that the Apples will be in Delaware anytime soon, Bernitt didn't miss a beat when he answered, "there are two chances, slim and none." With that said, about all that can be said for sure is that it will only be a matter of time before we next hear that now famous cheer..............
How bout them Apples !!
***PHOTOS BELOW***
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
APPLES SOLVE HEALTH CARE DILEMMA
Apples Have A Fix
Not That Difficult
Inorout
Nashville,TN
With the President and the United States congress now embroiled in what appears to be a never ending debate regarding health care and reforms, the Apples have stepped to the plate and appear to have solved the problem that America's elected officials either can not, or will not do.
Speaking to a nearly empty room, AGFHOF Don Bernitt addressed the issue of the day in plain and straight terms. "It's just not that difficult to solve" said Bernitt has he read from a tele prompter that had been set up in the Apples conference room.
"If I remember how this all got started" continued Bernitt, "the idea of health care reform is two fold." "First and foremost is to provide health care coverage to all Americans, and second is to lower the astronomically high prices of health care as it currently stands."
When pressed for clarification, Bernitt rambled, "for many people living in the U.S. the local emergency room seems to be their only means of health care, and by that fact alone we are driving the overall cost of health care through the roof." "Hospitals are for the very sick or the injured, they are not in business to treat the common cold or flu." "We simply can't continue to treat our hospitals as free clinics for anyone walking in off the street." added Bernitt
Realizing that his words may have touched a nerve in some, Bernitt quickly softened the conversation by adding, "who among us would not take care of the least of our brothers?" "The plan is simple" said Bernitt has he slowly weaved towards his point, "if your position in life requires a hand out, America will give it to you." "But, as with American corporations that took tax dollars as part of the bailout and are now held to certain new standards, so will it be expected that those receiving free health care be held to new standards as well.
"First among these new standards" continued Bernitt, "you will give the health care provider proof of American citizenship." "If you are an undocumented resident of this country, you will now be identified as such and documented with the sole purpose of taxing you like all citizens are taxed."
"The free ride is over" said Bernitt as he stated that "nobody living in this country should live in the shadows or in fear." "If you're in this country then by GOD you need to part of the solution and not part of the problem." "The time has come for not just health care reform, but for immigration reform as well" yelled Bernitt as he again veered off course while delivering his unsolicited opinion.
Returning to the main theme of his comments, Bernitt continued, "I've listened to our President and his ideas, and for the most part, I disagree with him." "We don't need the government to run health care in this country." "Obama has said that part of his plan is to clean up the corruption and waste in Medicaid." "How about this" said Bernitt, "do that first!, save the 300 billion dollars in Medicaid fraud you talk about and then put that money right back into the system to pay for the uninsured and under insured who currently have no coverage."
Bernitt concluded, "when you have a problem, you can either avoid it, or attack it." "If the time has come, and I believe it has, for health care reform, then it makes sense to first go after the easy fixes." "Don't try to reinvent the wheel, just fix the spokes." "The issue is not health care reform, the issue is Medicaid and Medicare reform."
"In closing" said Bernitt, "if we the people who make up our government can clamp down on, and clean up Wall Street, then by golly we can do the same thing with our current government health care institutions of Medicaid and Medicare." "Clean your own house, before you tell me what to do to mine" shouted Bernitt as those watching quickly gathered the children and covered their ears before scurrying out of the room.
Completing his remarks, Bernitt left the room as the few in attendance shared a common question, "what the heck is he talking about?" Said one of the remaining guest, " I know exactly what he is saying..... How bout them Apples"
Not That Difficult
Inorout
Nashville,TN
With the President and the United States congress now embroiled in what appears to be a never ending debate regarding health care and reforms, the Apples have stepped to the plate and appear to have solved the problem that America's elected officials either can not, or will not do.
Speaking to a nearly empty room, AGFHOF Don Bernitt addressed the issue of the day in plain and straight terms. "It's just not that difficult to solve" said Bernitt has he read from a tele prompter that had been set up in the Apples conference room.
"If I remember how this all got started" continued Bernitt, "the idea of health care reform is two fold." "First and foremost is to provide health care coverage to all Americans, and second is to lower the astronomically high prices of health care as it currently stands."
When pressed for clarification, Bernitt rambled, "for many people living in the U.S. the local emergency room seems to be their only means of health care, and by that fact alone we are driving the overall cost of health care through the roof." "Hospitals are for the very sick or the injured, they are not in business to treat the common cold or flu." "We simply can't continue to treat our hospitals as free clinics for anyone walking in off the street." added Bernitt
Realizing that his words may have touched a nerve in some, Bernitt quickly softened the conversation by adding, "who among us would not take care of the least of our brothers?" "The plan is simple" said Bernitt has he slowly weaved towards his point, "if your position in life requires a hand out, America will give it to you." "But, as with American corporations that took tax dollars as part of the bailout and are now held to certain new standards, so will it be expected that those receiving free health care be held to new standards as well.
"First among these new standards" continued Bernitt, "you will give the health care provider proof of American citizenship." "If you are an undocumented resident of this country, you will now be identified as such and documented with the sole purpose of taxing you like all citizens are taxed."
"The free ride is over" said Bernitt as he stated that "nobody living in this country should live in the shadows or in fear." "If you're in this country then by GOD you need to part of the solution and not part of the problem." "The time has come for not just health care reform, but for immigration reform as well" yelled Bernitt as he again veered off course while delivering his unsolicited opinion.
Returning to the main theme of his comments, Bernitt continued, "I've listened to our President and his ideas, and for the most part, I disagree with him." "We don't need the government to run health care in this country." "Obama has said that part of his plan is to clean up the corruption and waste in Medicaid." "How about this" said Bernitt, "do that first!, save the 300 billion dollars in Medicaid fraud you talk about and then put that money right back into the system to pay for the uninsured and under insured who currently have no coverage."
Bernitt concluded, "when you have a problem, you can either avoid it, or attack it." "If the time has come, and I believe it has, for health care reform, then it makes sense to first go after the easy fixes." "Don't try to reinvent the wheel, just fix the spokes." "The issue is not health care reform, the issue is Medicaid and Medicare reform."
"In closing" said Bernitt, "if we the people who make up our government can clamp down on, and clean up Wall Street, then by golly we can do the same thing with our current government health care institutions of Medicaid and Medicare." "Clean your own house, before you tell me what to do to mine" shouted Bernitt as those watching quickly gathered the children and covered their ears before scurrying out of the room.
Completing his remarks, Bernitt left the room as the few in attendance shared a common question, "what the heck is he talking about?" Said one of the remaining guest, " I know exactly what he is saying..... How bout them Apples"
Monday, November 2, 2009
APPLES AWARDED A HEISMAN
Heisman Surprise
Team Humbled
Notjustafootballaward
Nashville, TN
To use an old softball term, "this came out of left field." Those words were used this past weekend when it was learned that the Nashville based Apples have been awarded a Heisman Trophy.
Normally given to college footballs outstanding player of the year, the Heisman Committee surprised the sports world this weekend by giving an award to the Apples.
Speaking in Nashville, committee member Arthur Jones said that the announcement of the Apples award should not come as a total surprise. "We saw what our brethren in Norway did last month when they gave the Nobel Peace Prize to President Obama." "We figured if they could give the Nobel to someone out of left field, then we could do the same with the Heisman."
In naming the Apples as this years winner, the Heisman committee broke with tradition in two ways. First, they gave the award to a non football recipient, and second, they gave the award to a team and not an individual.
Accepting the award for the Apples, AGFHOF Don Bernitt said that the team was humbled by the recognition and promised to represent the award in true Apple form. Along with the trophy itself, the Apples were presented a check for $100,000 to be placed in the teams general scholarship fund. "I speak for every member of the Apples, past and present, when I say that this award ranks near the top of the list when it comes to the frauds we've perpetrated over the years to market the Apples and grow our bank accounts at the expense of the unassuming masses" said Bernitt before heading to a nearby bank to cash the Heisman check.
With the award, the Apples now find themselves heading into the winter months with some extra Christmas cash on hand as well as a new trophy for the teams newly remodeled headquarters. Where things go from here is any one's guess, perhaps an Oscar or an Emmy is in the Apples future. Regardless, one thing is for sure, it is only a matter of time before we will next hear that now famous cheer.............How Bout them Apples.
** Photos Below**
Team Humbled
Notjustafootballaward
Nashville, TN
To use an old softball term, "this came out of left field." Those words were used this past weekend when it was learned that the Nashville based Apples have been awarded a Heisman Trophy.
Normally given to college footballs outstanding player of the year, the Heisman Committee surprised the sports world this weekend by giving an award to the Apples.
Speaking in Nashville, committee member Arthur Jones said that the announcement of the Apples award should not come as a total surprise. "We saw what our brethren in Norway did last month when they gave the Nobel Peace Prize to President Obama." "We figured if they could give the Nobel to someone out of left field, then we could do the same with the Heisman."
In naming the Apples as this years winner, the Heisman committee broke with tradition in two ways. First, they gave the award to a non football recipient, and second, they gave the award to a team and not an individual.
Accepting the award for the Apples, AGFHOF Don Bernitt said that the team was humbled by the recognition and promised to represent the award in true Apple form. Along with the trophy itself, the Apples were presented a check for $100,000 to be placed in the teams general scholarship fund. "I speak for every member of the Apples, past and present, when I say that this award ranks near the top of the list when it comes to the frauds we've perpetrated over the years to market the Apples and grow our bank accounts at the expense of the unassuming masses" said Bernitt before heading to a nearby bank to cash the Heisman check.
With the award, the Apples now find themselves heading into the winter months with some extra Christmas cash on hand as well as a new trophy for the teams newly remodeled headquarters. Where things go from here is any one's guess, perhaps an Oscar or an Emmy is in the Apples future. Regardless, one thing is for sure, it is only a matter of time before we will next hear that now famous cheer.............How Bout them Apples.
** Photos Below**
Monday, October 26, 2009
APPLES SAY....DISSOLVE U.S.A.
Stunning Proclamation
Real or Hoax?
Canitbedone
Nashville
In what is believed to be the first of its kind proclamation, the normally a-political Apples shocked the sports world this week as they dipped their toes into the world of American politics. Speaking at Independence Hall in Philadelphia, Apple spokesmen Nathan Hale VI and Thomas Jefferson VI caught many off guard as they announced the Apples proclamation that the time has come for the United States of America to dissolve as a country.
Speaking first, Jefferson addressed the inattentive crowd by reading from the Declaration of Independence that had been written by his famous ancestor of the same name. "And, I quote" said Jefferson, "When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and the Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation."
Continuing, Jefferson referred again to our founding fathers when he read from the original Declaration of Independence and the claim that whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive, "it is the right of the people to alter or abolish it, and to institute a new government."
"Look around you" urged Nathan Hale VI. "Our government is shattered." "We have reached a point of perpetual disagreement amongst the two main political parties." "If one group says yes, the other says no." "If one party says up, the other says down."
Added Hale, "our population has grown to a point that we can no longer find a common good." "In a country this vast,and with great people from across the globe now making this wonderful land their home, we must all acknowledge that there is now, and will forever more be, more then one common good." "It is because of our unimaginable success as a people and a nation, that the time may be upon us that we should peacefully and with purpose dissolve the United States of America." proclaimed Hale as the midday crowd enjoyed their Philadelphia Cheese Steak sandwiches in the cool autumn air.
Continuing on the theme of the day, Jefferson VI again chimed in when he quoted the 1858 speech by Abraham Lincoln in which Lincoln said, "A nation divided against itself can not stand." Jefferson then challenged those in attendance by asking, "who amongst us can say that our country is not divided against itself?" Whether because of a total lack of interest in his comments, or because his words may have drowned out by the 747 passing overhead, it must be reported that there was no response from the crowd milling about the square.
Finally, after a bit more rambling by Hale, one passing citizen paused long enough to ask Hale how he would go about doing something that had never been done in the recorded history of mankind, that being the peaceful dissolution of a country and its government. Pausing for a moment, Hale answered by saying, "Please don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I have the answers, I'm the one asking the question, that's all."
Stepping back in front of the microphone provided by the Philadelphia chapter of the Ladies of Liberty Organization, Jefferson VI spoke again when he suggested that perhaps the United States look at a split of the country into "block governments" based on the land map at the time of the 1803 Louisiana Purchase. "It makes sense that a smaller population of individuals are more likely to compromise and work towards a common good if they felt that their voices would be heard and effective, versus today's climate where one persons voice is basically a cry in the wilderness as it relates to actual governing."
"When peppered about the basic questions about a common defense and the structure of the military that would accompany his "block governments" Jefferson's suggestion of a Central Government outraged the handful of bystanders who shouted "Communist! Communist!" With the crowd now becoming hostile, Jefferson VI quickly turned back to Hale VI and said "it was your ancestor who said,I regret I have but one life to give to my country, so why don't you take it from here."
Attempting to calm the crowd, Hale quickly pointed out that Jefferson was only thinking out loud and as had been mentioned before, the two Apple spokesmen were today only asking questions and that they did not pretend to have the answers to what they see as fracture in the current government of the United States.
"This I can say for sure" said Hale, "if we don't pay attention and get involved in our government then we deserve the mess we are in and the bigger mess that is to come." With these words the crowd broke into a chant of Go Phillies Go! as it was learned that the Phillies had won the National League Championship and would now be heading back to the World Series in an attempt to match the Apples by winning back to back World Championships.
And so it goes, with the Phillies about to start World Series play and the Apples enjoying the off season, a proclamation has been made. The only question now is simple, is it real or is it a hoax?
*Photo Below
Real or Hoax?
Canitbedone
Nashville
In what is believed to be the first of its kind proclamation, the normally a-political Apples shocked the sports world this week as they dipped their toes into the world of American politics. Speaking at Independence Hall in Philadelphia, Apple spokesmen Nathan Hale VI and Thomas Jefferson VI caught many off guard as they announced the Apples proclamation that the time has come for the United States of America to dissolve as a country.
Speaking first, Jefferson addressed the inattentive crowd by reading from the Declaration of Independence that had been written by his famous ancestor of the same name. "And, I quote" said Jefferson, "When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and the Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation."
Continuing, Jefferson referred again to our founding fathers when he read from the original Declaration of Independence and the claim that whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive, "it is the right of the people to alter or abolish it, and to institute a new government."
"Look around you" urged Nathan Hale VI. "Our government is shattered." "We have reached a point of perpetual disagreement amongst the two main political parties." "If one group says yes, the other says no." "If one party says up, the other says down."
Added Hale, "our population has grown to a point that we can no longer find a common good." "In a country this vast,and with great people from across the globe now making this wonderful land their home, we must all acknowledge that there is now, and will forever more be, more then one common good." "It is because of our unimaginable success as a people and a nation, that the time may be upon us that we should peacefully and with purpose dissolve the United States of America." proclaimed Hale as the midday crowd enjoyed their Philadelphia Cheese Steak sandwiches in the cool autumn air.
Continuing on the theme of the day, Jefferson VI again chimed in when he quoted the 1858 speech by Abraham Lincoln in which Lincoln said, "A nation divided against itself can not stand." Jefferson then challenged those in attendance by asking, "who amongst us can say that our country is not divided against itself?" Whether because of a total lack of interest in his comments, or because his words may have drowned out by the 747 passing overhead, it must be reported that there was no response from the crowd milling about the square.
Finally, after a bit more rambling by Hale, one passing citizen paused long enough to ask Hale how he would go about doing something that had never been done in the recorded history of mankind, that being the peaceful dissolution of a country and its government. Pausing for a moment, Hale answered by saying, "Please don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I have the answers, I'm the one asking the question, that's all."
Stepping back in front of the microphone provided by the Philadelphia chapter of the Ladies of Liberty Organization, Jefferson VI spoke again when he suggested that perhaps the United States look at a split of the country into "block governments" based on the land map at the time of the 1803 Louisiana Purchase. "It makes sense that a smaller population of individuals are more likely to compromise and work towards a common good if they felt that their voices would be heard and effective, versus today's climate where one persons voice is basically a cry in the wilderness as it relates to actual governing."
"When peppered about the basic questions about a common defense and the structure of the military that would accompany his "block governments" Jefferson's suggestion of a Central Government outraged the handful of bystanders who shouted "Communist! Communist!" With the crowd now becoming hostile, Jefferson VI quickly turned back to Hale VI and said "it was your ancestor who said,I regret I have but one life to give to my country, so why don't you take it from here."
Attempting to calm the crowd, Hale quickly pointed out that Jefferson was only thinking out loud and as had been mentioned before, the two Apple spokesmen were today only asking questions and that they did not pretend to have the answers to what they see as fracture in the current government of the United States.
"This I can say for sure" said Hale, "if we don't pay attention and get involved in our government then we deserve the mess we are in and the bigger mess that is to come." With these words the crowd broke into a chant of Go Phillies Go! as it was learned that the Phillies had won the National League Championship and would now be heading back to the World Series in an attempt to match the Apples by winning back to back World Championships.
And so it goes, with the Phillies about to start World Series play and the Apples enjoying the off season, a proclamation has been made. The only question now is simple, is it real or is it a hoax?
*Photo Below
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