APPLES DENIED AGAIN

Obama Wins Peace Prize
Apples Snubbed

Longlivetheking
Norway

In a stunning turn of events, it has been learned that for the 14th consecutive year, the Apples have again been denied the Nobel Peace Prize.

With this morning's announcement that the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize had been awarded to Barack Obama, many across the globe have been left understandably surprised.

Across the United States, and the world, there seems to now be a collective posture of head scratching as the reality of the Nobel announcement sinks in. "I'm not quite sure who votes on this award but I'd like to find out" said a mother of three in Afghanistan as she scurried to get her children in doors as United States and NATO troops engaged in heavy combat with Taliban solders on the outskirts of her hometown.

Meanwhile, across the border in Pakistan, citizens were seen fleeing the open air food market as reports of an overhead U.S. Drone surfaced. "I'd like to speak with you about Nobel Prize Award, but I think I'm about to die" said one man as he wrapped his AK-47 in a blanket and scampered from sight.

In Iran, news of the Peace Prize being awarded to Obama was met with some skepticism as students were dismissed from class early to take part in a previously scheduled "Death To America" day picnic. Along with traditional US Flag burnings, this years picnic is reported to also include a "who can pack the most plastic explosives into a Volkswagen" contest.

Not to be outdone, Palestinians in the Middle East showed their feelings of the significance of the Nobel Peace Prize by wrapping their faces in mask and firing rockets and bullets towards Israel. "We want Jimmy, We want Jimmy" chanted the crowd as they mistakenly identified Jimmy Carter as the Nobel Prize Winner.

Back in the United States, hundreds of thousands of unemployed Americans seemed to take the news of Obama's award in stride. "Good for him" said one man as he stood in line at a food bank to get a supply of government food. "I just hope that when Obama gets done solving the worlds problems that he will take some time to help America" added the man as he prepared to head off for his free hip replacement surgery.

When contacted in Nashville for his thoughts on the Peace Prize going to Obama, AGFHOF Don Bernitt was clear and direct in his answer. "I look at it this way" said Bernitt, "The Titans are 0 -4 and have Payton Manning and the Colts coming to town this weekend, I think we can all agree that a win this weekend is much more important then the Nobel Peace Prize." "With that said" concluded Bernitt, "you can never go wrong by shaking hands with a stranger and saying...Peace be with you."


How bout them Apples!