Apples Push For Change In U.S. Constitution

Apples Go To Washington
Time For A Change

Saywhat.com
Nashville, TN

With the 2008 Presidential Campaign now in full swing, it has been learned that the Apples have flip flopped on their previous plans to endorse a candidate and instead have shifted their attentions to the process of electing a President.

When reached at his headquarters in Nashville, AGFHOF Don Bernitt confirmed today's reports while admitting that the task about to be undertaken by the Apples was monumental.

Bernitt also confirmed earlier reports that the Apples were within a few days of publicly announcing their endorsement of Barak Obama for President. " That's right" said Bernitt when asked if the Apples had made a preliminary decision to endorse Obama. Added Bernitt, "if the people of this land think that our country and government are that bad, and if the folks think that our country's War on Terror is a farce, then let's have sweeping changes and move on."

"The way I see it" continued Bernitt " the Democrats have had enough of the Bush's and the Republicans have had enough of the Clinton's. " I say it's time to live the words of JFK and pass the torch to a new generation of Americans"

Bernitt then launched into the point of his message when he announced the Apples are looking at grass roots efforts to change the U.S. Constitution by addressing the archaic system that is the Electoral College. "I would like to think that all Americans agree that the process in it's current state is broken" said Bernitt.

When pressed for specifics about his thoughts on the Electoral College, Bernitt answered the question with a challenge to all in attendance. " Get informed, get involved and then let's talk."

It has now become clear for all to see; opening day can not get here fast enough so that we can all get back to the important things in life i.e. playing ball and having fun.

How bout them Apples

Apples Courted For Endorsement

Apples To Enter Political Race
Endorsements Expected

Votedotcom
Nashville, TN

With the Christmas and New Years holidays in the rear view mirror it is being reported that the Apples will begin 2008 by entering the political arena and for the first time endorse presidential candidates.

Reports have the Apples being courted by several Presidential candidates from both parties in an effort to reap the media bump that would follow any endorsement by the Apples.

When asked for comment on the reports of an Apple endorsement in this years elections, AGFHOF Don Bernitt said that he was not yet ready to publicly discuss specifics on the issue. Bernitt did point out that this years election could be historic. " It has to do your heart good that hopefully America is about to begin to put our past history of prejudice and racism behind us for good"

Bernitt pointed out that of the candidates likely to succeed W, we may elect either the first black, the first woman, the first gay or the first Mormon faithed candidate to be our President. " You can't hate everybody, so the time has come to get over all prejudices and let the best candidate win" said Bernitt as he snacked on Jellybeans at a black tie fundraiser sponsored by Condleeza Rice and Joe Liberman supporters.

When pressed for a timetable on when an Apple endorsement could be expected Bernitt said that an official announcement would come only after a pending off shore business deal in is finalized.

Bernitt then asked that all Americans consider not voting in this falls election so that his vote would carry more weight in determining the next President of the United States.

How bout them Apples.

Frozen Apples

Apples Join Polar Bear Club
2008 Training Begins

Burbaby.com
Nashville, TN

With the calender now reading 2008, the Apples began their off season training regime in style by joining the world renowned Polar Bear Club.

AGFHOF Don Bernitt and starting Apple Outfielder Patty Pender were joined by Pender's high powered agent Barbara Woehnker and team batboy Hayden Todd as they took on the wintry elements of New Years Day and went for a swim in Nashville's Percy Priest Lake as part of a worldwide Jan. 1 tradition know as the Polar Bear Club.

With gusting winds that had the wind chill factor at a freezing 15 degrees the Apples took the plunge as they dove into the almost as cold 36 degree waters of Percy Priest lake.

When asked to comment on the polar plunge taken by the Apples, Dan Bernitt the father of Don, who was in Nashville to celebrate the New Year said that after some forty plus years the time has finally come for DNA testing. "There's no way that stupid SOB shares my genes" said the elder Bernitt as he sat by the roaring bonfire and sipped hot chocolate with the other onlookers in attendance.

A new year is here and perhaps another Apple tradition has been started, so here is your invitation to join the Apples next Jan. 1st for the second annual Apple Polar Bear plunge.

Have a Great 2008 and how of course... How bout them Apples!!

See photos below or on page B1 of the Tennessean. Also visit 'tennessean.com' for video of the days events

http://www.tennessean.com/apps/pbcs.dll/section?Category=VIDEO

The Apples hosted the first annual Apple Polar Bear Plunge on New Years Day

"That was pretty darn cold" said AGFHOF Don Bernitt after his dive into the 36 degree waters of Percy Priest Lake.