APPLES SLAM GROUNDHOG

Punxsutawney Phil Sees Shadow
Apples Don't Care

Whataboutglobalwarming.

The worlds most famous groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil, saw his shadow this morning and by doing so predicted six more weeks of winter.

"Give me a break" said AGFHOF Don Bernitt when he learned of Phils proclamation. Following a morning walk through the snow and ice outside the Apple compound in suburban Nashville, TN a then noticeably irate Bernitt questioned the politics and motives behind the morning announcement from Gobblers Knob, PA.

"This is no doubt a conspiracy brought on by teabaggers and other global warming deniers" added Bernitt. "Everyone knows that we are in the midst of epic climate change brought on by greedy American corporations that would not hesitate to destroy the environment for the sack of the almighty dollar."

"Look at the video from Punxsutawney this morning, the resaon the damn groundhog didn't see his shadow was because of the CO2 emissions being spewed from the coal mines across the road." "I'm surprised Punzsutawney Phil wasn't wearing an oxygen mask considering all the poison that the money grubbing bastards have let loose in the air."

"Heck, we have daffodils coming up near the bullpens already" continued Bernitt as he described how Spring practice starts earlier and earlier each year. "It use to be that we would enjoy the off season holidays and get to Valentines Day before it warmed up enough to shake the mud off our cleats, but not anymore." "It seems like the older we get, the more time it takes to get into shape to play ball" Bernitt said as he rubbed BenGay on his throwing shoulder that he injured in a sledding accident over the weekend.

"It absolutely makes me sick to my stomach that we have people who either don't know or don't care about what we are doing to the environment around us. "It's time for people to wake up and smell the early blooming roses." "It's time we listen to Al Gore, Groundhog Day is a day to spread misinformation and make millions of dollars in the process."

Go Solar, Go Green, Go Apples!